waiting for you

SHIFTED.

2007-08-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

This blog is a goner. My new blog: http://finestluxury.wordpress.com

See ya there!

hurt

2007-07-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

Everything is meant to be broken.
Just like how promises are never fulfilled. I walked so far, only to realize that im ultra tired and worn out this whole year. I crave to go back to the past and be me, and really just be myself.
Again and again, i keep telling myself everything's gonna be okay.
Studies is stressing me out.
Business is wearing me out.
And love is tearing me apart.
Im turning into someone whom i dont even know when i looked into the mirror.
Why am i behaving like this?
I wish i have the answer, but sad to say, i dont.

I really, really pray that i can get away from all these. I shout for a long deserve break...that i am desperately in need of it.
I need my old life back. I need pure love, friendship and kinship.
Who is giving me any of these?
All that i can feel mentally and emotionally are nothing but plain tired-ness.
If given a choice, i hope i can MIA for a few days.

And worst of all, love always fail me. I dont know my heart anymore.

long day.

2007-06-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Its a longggggggg day.

Marcus went NS. Somehow, he's missed by me. I feel quite emo inside, even though i didnt tell anyone. The house is already quite empty, without him around these few weeks, i think the house will be quieter. But Nic is rejoicing maybe, cos he can have the whole 3rd floor to himself. The day started off with marcus gone, den came my dad's official opening ceremony.

The whole ceremony lasted from morning till late noon. TIRED. I had my station to guard, which is to ask people to sign the guestbook. Basically, do nothing much and chit chat with my cousins, bro and jm. Many strangers...some from china, taiwan, malaysia, most are clients, some are relatives. Relatives whom i have NOT SEEN for a darn long time. Cant even recognise them, same goes for them too. They cant recognise me. The usual comments, "so skinny...last time fatter. wad happen?" or "got bf already?"

yup yup, my bf was the photographer, haha poor thing. he's sick yet gotta go around taking pics. dar', i know u are sick la...not tt i act blur. haha, im not a very verbal person, u shud know wad. ;)

Anyways back to the event, it was quite big scale. My dad and uncle invited like 9 lion dance and 2 dragon dance. All the workers were wearing their uniform, which my dad got it specially printed with the company's logo. Haha, even the directors are wearing it...my cousins too. except for me, cos dont have my size at all. I cant fit XS. Yay! Im in my own attire, heng ah.

Den i rushed down to bugis to meetup with jill, sharon, juliet and her bf for a simple dinner to celebrate jill & sharon's bdae! ;) Shag but happy. Jill & juliet LIED TO ME & SHARON. BIATCCCHHHHH. Got sharon a $120 capital voucher to let her buy wadever she want...for jill, prezzie postpone! haha she gonna ask us to buy shiseldo latest makeup range...dunno wad bling bling shimmering stuffs. Oh, and edwin treated us to desserts again. He's getting more and more like a galfren to us. haha, we can openly discuss private topics in front of him. "Gals talk".

Tonight i feel wierd without jm with me. We are spending almost every night doing mds stuff till 3am. Suddenly, tonight, he's out with his fren and im out with mine and i had to go home alone...i felt so strange. Like something is missing that i have to tell him come spend the night with me. haha. Nah. but i think he thot im not serious abt it. chey.

ohhh anyways min, just read ur post abt my bdae! thanks! LOVE THE CRAZY PICS! haha looked sooooo fun from the pics! ;)

what's left

2007-05-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

I dont know where to start.
I dont blame you for everything that stands in between us. Its never within our control.
I hate myself for not being able to give you solutions you need.
Cos' i dont know what i want anymore.
Too overwhelmed by what is ahead, and what might possibly happen to us. Im a selfish person; i want to be rational about everything. My mind is overpowering my heart as much as i dont want to.
I cant stop feeling negative towards the future.
I love you, but is this love enough to withstand everything? I have doubts about myself.
Im really happy to know that u wont put me at risk no matter what happens. It makes me learnt the fact that im so important to you. Im well aware of your feelings. Your circumstances. Your stress. Which is why i hate to be another source of your unhappiness and undue stress. You have so much to carry on your shoulders, im so afraid one day you might just collapse. I cant stand seeing you so weighed down by everything around you. I hate to tell you that this is a temporary solution. Its not that i dont want this badly, but my mind is in a twirl..i racked my brains over what can i give you to make you live an easier life. Thats really my intention no matter how hard i tried to explain to you, you dont seem to get my point. and where im coming from.

I love you, you know how much i need you to be with me...but at the same time, im pulling you back. and you cant move on.

2007-05-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

Marcus is going NS. And my emo mum is very upset.
Cos she cant send her precious son to tekong...clashes with my dad's company reopening ceremony. How unlucky. She blame my dad for arranging the ceremony on that day...my poor dad. Also at a loss.
Luckily there is ME & JM...to the rescue. We are accompanying my mum over to the Tekong so that she can see him off, while my dad is busy entertaining ppl at the ceremony. There's still about 1 month to the enlistment date...but i think my little mother is feeling so upset already. Sighs. For me i dunno whether to feel happy or sad...cos finally my dad has shifted over to the newly built factory, and they are gonna make it a big event, inviting everyone for the opening...but at the same time, my brother is starting his NS life. We will definitely feel wierd and sad without him around, esp on our family days. ;(

On a happier note, ISETAN PRIVATE SALE is here AGAIN! haha...despite my hella busy schedule...i managed to squeeze few hrs out to reserve all the items im gonna buy! ;) Yup yup...no matter how busy i am, how can i miss a sale?! Even though i totally agree with min about how our mind keep thinking of the pile of unfinished LRH or MDS work lying around...always at the back of our minds! For me, i still have my advertising module...freak. I have a show and tell ppt this friday which clashes with my quiz. Great. On top of that, i have a final advertising mini cooper ppt on nx wednesday...argghhh. Summer term just love clashing everything together in the span of 1 month. Busy busy busy. But i will handle it...this is what i told jm. No matter how f**king stress i am, i will handle it myself...my complexion is gonna reflect the stress im undergoing again. AHHHH...thats like the most expensive tradeoff for stress.

Oh, but im v v happy that my sale items are almost cleared! Yay! Only left a few items...lucky! Really must thanks all mds loyal supporters. My walk in wardrobe are really getting a little cramp nowadays...so im glad that i cleared 2 bags of old stock which in my eyes, i really think they are lovely and nice apparels! They should be sold when i released them eons ago!

Few more days to my cruise trip! ENDURE, geo! ;)

22nd bdae celebration

2007-05-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Im officially 22 yrs old now. I had a really fun and lovely b'dae celebration with my closest friends and jiaming during the last weekend! For once, i was MDS, family, smu FREE for the whole 2 days, 100% recuperating from my fever that bugged me for almost 1 week. Luckily i recovered in time to party! ;)

First it was ktv, drinking and playing cards @ Rain. Den it was clubbing at Double O. I was really busy entertaining all my friends! But i still have sometime to sing...haha, how can i ever forget abt this! Oh its Bimbo & Himbo theme...but apparently, my crazy friends really belong to 2 diverse categories...some came in unknown and unrecognised attires that totally dont adhere to my theme...but some really rocks! And deserve some credits from me! ;) Like Shihui who totally look like a bimbo from her dressing top to bottom! Thanks babe for dressing up for me!!! ;) But the ultimate BIMBOS award really gotta go to my 2 galfrens, Tingli & qimin. WHY? Becos they are really the ultimate BIMBOS. Inside out. haha especially ting. My god, recalling how she talks still make my hair stand! And ting, thanks for singing birthday song in SO MANY COUNTLESS languages! haha that was really sweet of ya! ;) And it was simply hilarious!

I really wanna thank everybody for giving me such a sweet bdae celebration, i felt so blissed and happy! Of cos, i wont forget my man who's with me everyday last week cos i was so sick. He took care of me everyday...nagged and scolded at me when i keep insisting on replying emails, do postage stuff and keeping myself busy for god knows wad. He sweetly volunteered to wrap all the postage stuff for me, fed me pills, tuck me in and went home. Even though i was "BLUR" for those few days, but i was happily sick. ;) And of cos tt moment at rain...while i was playing cards with frens at the other table, i suddenly heard a familar voice singing yong bang's song "ni shi wo zhui shen ai de nu ren"...me being me, i tried to act cool and nonchalent when i know my heart suddenly beat v fast and my face was actually flushing. Darling, im always touched by your voice, u know that. Thats THE STRATEGY to make me happy. I cant help but feel tt i love this man alot. Cos i can totally feel his heart when he's singing this song to me. Thanks for everything dear! Yes yes im touched!

Before i forget, i wanna thank everybody for the presents! To my poly frens, u girls really know me WELL! Yes yes i love Vera Wang to bits! Thanks for the perfume and body lotion, i really smell like a "princess" after applying them! hahaha. And jill, your bf is funny. haha

Thanks shihui for getting me such a nice color cardigan from GG5! Another of my fav brands if u do shop with me...haha i only go for these few brands, cos they have my size!!! ;) Thank dearie, i love the cardi! ;)

And not forgetting the couple, who got me bikini from topshop! Haha thanks eunice and cas, they came just in time for my cruise trip on the 18th! Time for some sun...im really getting transparent these days! Love the floral bikinis! ;)

Last but not least, how can i forget my LAST present which i only got to receive on the actual day back home...from Jiaming! MY AGNES B BAGGGGGGGIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I love IT LIKE CRAZY! Been using it non-stop for the past few days, its gorgeous and functional, thanks dar! Love ya!! and the present! ;)

You see...not only girls have the ability to act cute, guys can do it equally WELL too. Cheers to Collin & jm! ;)

The X-rated couple. But we still love them!

Ting performing different renditions of birthday song to me!! Yay!

Jiaming's turn to dedicate a love song to me. heh. Love to hear him sing!!

Not-so-bimbo Meiqi & me! ;)

Before we left for rain...snapping shots in Grand Corpthorne! I was glad i recovered FINALLY!!! ;) I dolled up like a subtle bimbo who looks high maintenance and did i say i just LOVE FUSCHIA PINK!!

Kudos to ting. She's the real bimbo.

random shots while jm is singing, i burst out luffing..dunno why. Cant remember.

Sometimes a guy also wish that he can be Ms Singapore ONE FINE DAY.

He stole the crown qimin bought for me!!

Finally, im taller by few cm.

In the midst of singing dunno which language bdae song!

Thanks guys! I had a wondeful time that time!

My 22nd

2007-04-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

I'M 22 YEARS OLD ON 6TH MAY 2007!!
My god, shucks, damn, idiot, shit.
Im nearing my MID TWENTIES!!
The thought of liposuction, plastic surgery, sagging breasts, botox are all in my little head now.
10 more years...i can see myself doing all these. And causing my future husband bankrupt.
I think Jiaming is stress now.
Anyways, alot asked how come this yr i dont have wishlist...hmmm its not tt i dont have "wishes" but rather...they are all not really material stuff.
I guess i sort of crossed over the times when i wish to own this LV BAG...or this expensive branded jeans, or wadever material stuff. Or MDS made me more stingy than before..maybe thats the real reason.
BUT STILL...I WANT MY PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hah...Below are some of my simple WISHES.

1. A new hp
2. Long cardigan(preferably XS)
3. White skinny Jeans(Size 24)
4. Camel color big bag from Espirit(cost $109)-cant remember the model number
5. Bikini: no pink ;)
6. Accessories(preferably gold)-nowadays i have no time to shop for accessories, those at home seems a bit outdated. haha.
7. SPA VOUCHER-i would totally adore this!!!!! Badly in need of spa! ;)

Haha thats all i can think of it now. I would love any of the above. ;) See ya guys this sat(5th may) at Rain(UE SQUARE) at 8pm ok? Call me if u cant find the place! After ktv/pubbing, we can go clubbing @ MOS as well!

OH. Before i forget, PLS PLS STICK TO THE THEME OF "BIMBO AND HIMBO". I prolly know who's best at this. haha. Urps.

2007-04-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

Im supposed to be enjoying my hols.
For these 2 weeks since hols started, i have not stopped moving on. Everyday im moving faster and faster, even i cant keep up with my own pace. I know, i know i should slow down, thats what everyone have been trying to tell me directly or indirectly. I know all these, but do the present circumstances allow me to do this freely? Can i stop even for a moment?

Life always revolves around tradeoffs. I always believe in that, if someone wants to do well in a particular thing, he or she has to give up something in their lives. Just like how elated i was when i saw some positive feedback abt mds, a negative customer who was dissatisfied with her 1st purchase changed her opinion towards mds after buying from us subsequently. I felt so consoled when i learnt abt tt. Thats consistency in doing a business. How many people actually, truly understand why im working hard, or harder than most online sellers? Its important to me becos i know it is. Besides fashion, i dunno wad else i can go into after graduating from smu.

Nearing 22 yrs old, i dunno what i have achieved yet in my life.
Maturity? Grades? Stable r/s? Or a good business?
Gosh, the thought of all these scares me off. Sometimes, i feel that he dont understand me at all. Does he really know how i feel? Why do i feel that im always chided for being too stressed up, too uptight? Pls understand that all these negative emotions tt im feeling ARE NOT WHAT I WANT to feel. If i can choose to live a life of a bimbo, i will cos i can afford to. But for once, im able to build my dreams and do what i want. I chose this path, to juggle btw mds and my studies, i gladly accept everything that comes my way, but what i need are support and REAL HELP from closed ones. Not when im stressed, he or she will ask you, "what again? what's wrong with you? Why like dat again? I told you i will help you already what."

Thats not what i need. Its neither words of consolation, nor real actions to help me. Its beyond what i can bear. Bottleneck.

For my upcoming b'dae, im declaring a 1 week off from mds and EVERYTHING ELSE. Time for a break. This may sounds childish, but i really just wanna contact FRIENDS whom i can talk to, who chide me lidat. Thanks.

Friends, you know who you are, contact me pls.

2007-04-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

No one understands how i feel...my heart feels so heavy that i can hardly breathe. Only in my sleep. But even in my sleep, i have nightmares. Maybe daddy is right, i shouldnt try to do so much now, except for studies. Dreams are only dreams. Perhaps this is all just a short-lived beautiful dream and reality is at the beck of my call now. Its time to wake up and do wad im supposed to do...dreams, arent supposed to be realised, are they? I feel like im going nuts soon. geo, where has your rationality gone?

I know you feel that i've changed.
I know this time, your heart really feels painful seeing me like that.
I know you are equally unhappy.
I know you prefer my old self, when im so confident about everything i do.
I know all these; but i have no energy to go back to the past.

I also want to be the same, at least i want to be happy and do what i really like. I also want to feel confident and be clear of myself.

Now i allow myself to slip into amnesia and embrace a brand new start. I will try very hard to be who i am again, and be happy.

2007-03-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

All my entries these few months are pure pathetic. sad.
I read them again, only to realise how unhappy i have been over these few mths. Over what...even I, myself dont even know at times.

Am i a perfect perfectionist who drives myself crazy without any limits? Or people around me just cannot live up to my expectations? Or is it simply...doing the wrong things at the wrong time? I began to wonder and right at this point in time...nothing remains of me but the lingering thoughts of giving up everything once and for all.

I look at copycats and my heart aches cos its my OWN effort. I was the one who racked my brains and think through everything...planning step by step and building it day by day. And with a copy and paste, they took away what belongs to me. Perhaps i shouldnt feel so bitter, after all i cant possibly stop them from doing anything. Internally & externally...they are all driving me nuts. I want to realise my dreams, especially what i have been longing to do all these years, but as much as i dont want it to be become a bubble-tea act...its slowly turning into one. And all these beyond my control. All these never-ending issues, one after another, are pushing me towards a corner and i cannot breathe at all.

I feel tired, disappointed, dry and bullied.

I need a protector, a guardian angel who will stand by me & help me with all these problems.

2007-03-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

Life seems so weary lately.
There isnt much to keep me going.
Its like, "i have to do this, thats why i have to do it".
And not becos i want to do it.

What, exactly is holding my steps? Beats me.
I would also like to live a life of a normal person, and not someone who gets agitated easily, and being a total wreck.
Im aware of all these...but its beyond my control and thats definitely not an excuse. Its the truth.

I think perhaps, i have already maxed out my energy long ago. Things/people around me slowly took away what used to belong to me, what used to be part of me and what used to be me. And now, there's nothing left of me. Just an empty shell.

The pursuit of happiness-something to pursue cos u know u might never get it. Even retail therapy is leading me on.

V-day 2007

2007-02-11T18:40:00.000-08:00

We had our Valentine's Day celebration in advance.

It was such a wonderful time with him.

All my work, stress and never-ending cognition process were all thrown at the back of my head.

For that 2 days, i was troubles & stress-free.

It was purely just indulgence.

And i really enjoyed myself.

I suggested to book a room in one of the hotels in town so that we can have the whole weekend to ourselves and just RELAX..which we were desperately in need of.

Like i said from my previous entry, i just wanna shut off from the world.

And during the weekend, it really felt like it. It was a nice recharge.

Even though its just Orchard, but i feel like im somewhere away from "the peeves".

And from this short getaway, i realised alot of things.

I came to realise that actually dunno since when, im starting to love this man. I never thought i will fall deeply in love again. I always thought i like him alot...but is there love involved?

But im really very happy deep down...that my heart tells me i do love him.

I always thought the past is pulling me back...but actually, i have long moved on.

So, thats like my greatest gain from the trip.

Yup, so thats my answer to you. ;)

2007-02-08T02:00:00.000-08:00

I'd rather be left alone.
And shut off from the world out there.
Cos acting is difficult.
And i hate to act.

Time to fight for freedom

2007-01-30T06:22:00.000-08:00

Where is the feel of maiden?
The feeling that attracted me and made me so mesmerized.
The inchoate spot where i used to stand and refused to move.
The pillar where i always lean on.
The sense of self-assurance.
The thought of depending on you.

From where we used to be.
From the point when i entered your world.
Till this day, i couldnt feel it anymore.
Am i changing? Or is it you are getting weaker?
Or maybe, we are just not what we used to be?

Time has changed, and so people changed.
We are all victims of time.
But, i still adore the pristine.
Cos thats the moment when im totally captivated by you.
Let me go back.

2007-01-26T07:21:00.000-08:00

At this moment, i long for peace and serenity.
Like what all other taureans always wish for.
I need a getaway.

After all the loads, tons and tons of work waiting for me to finish.
I also wish i could get 30 hrs a day.
Cos i have exhausted all my time management skills.
Thats the best i can do to share my life with so many ppl and priorities.
Sometimes i really wonder if i set expectations too high for me to reach.
Or perhaps, its just not the right time yet...to achieve so much.
Im drifting further and further away from where i originally stand.
I feel weighed down by almost everything...
Though this may sound stupid, but recently Vicky is the only one who can really make me happy..or simply, she's just able to make me smile at her. She's like my personal mood therapy...for that moment at least.

2007-01-10T03:25:00.000-08:00

Shucks.
Why is this happening?
Strange how my feelings are growing each day.
Freakkk.

So useless.

2007-01-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

30 days of holiday & i feel like i suffocated during these while. Many things are getting into me...cornering me to somewhere i feel i cant breathe at all. The world's filled with uncertainty & cruelty...with some idiots making bad comments at ur site for god knows why. But they just enjoy doing it. To make themselves feel better and to affect my mood. I guess they succeeded. I did feel bad but it spurred me to improve further on MDS. Its not something i will give up easily. Its a stepping stone to realise my dreams. I have so many areas that i need to improve and make changes on for the new 2007. And intense competition which i have to keep up with. Its an unexplanable feeling thats boiling within me...no longer just a sideline besides my studies..but something that i want to achieve in my life next time. Its not just a heat of the moment...im really bent on going into fashion line. Stressful. Tired. Disappointed. With reality, people & relationships. Amazingly, MDS* make me realise all these within 6 mths. A simple online fashion business which makes me see soo much in life over the past few months. And you finally know who are the ones that are really standing by you no matter what happens. Becos NOTHING lasts forever. Damn, what a sad opening entry for 2007. But its alright! Im super optimistic with this brand new year, at least there are still people and things in my life that are keeping me going. Still the crazy geo.

Anyways, for this new year, i have a new site layout which jiaming helped me design @ msdivineshopper@blogspot.com. Im like super grateful to him. He's nowhere linked to MDS*...not as a partner or wadever...but yet he still plays a huge part in my business. He gave me the most honest advice and tell me what i should do to make my business better. Basically, he's just a little guardian angel to me. Whenever im lost or feeling really down, i will pour everything out to him. And he will definitely come up with a solution for me. And its weird how he never get tired of all these nonsense from me when he's already so preoccupied with his own life. I dont care what the outside world say of me....rebound, infatuation, crush, keep changin bfs...wadever. Im totally on deaf ears becoz i know wad im doing. He gave me a white guess watch on xmas and made a collage for me saying words that no guy has said to me before. And it really touched my heart like mad. I was trying very hard not to cry and still pretend tt im cool.

And his voice...my god. He's like my personal jukebox. Everytime i hear him sing...i will fly to another world. Im serious. All my troubles and stress will be gone for tt moment when im totally immersing myself in his voice. Now i finally know why songs can touch people' heart...especially when tt person whom u like is singing songs so well...u just feel like hearing him go on and on forever. ANd time will just stop there. He gives me all the jitters whenever he opens his mouth to sing. That voice.

Melted.

Love

2006-12-21T03:12:00.000-08:00

Love is really fragile.
Its one of those reasons that make people suffer from depression.
In contrary, it shud be something worth smiling for.
Yet, at many times, it can be heartbreaking.
At that moment when u happily think that everything is perfectly fine, your significant other will cause you to tear.
And that totally ruins your almost perfect imagination of the future or wad an ideal bf means to you.
Sometimes,many people paint a too beautiful picture of a relationship...when there are actually more sides to it.
Even in love, Im still leading myself on...naively behaving like an innocent child.

Inevitably, words hurt the most, especially in love. To some people, it might be just a moment of folly...but to some, it will pierce right through the heart and stay there ever since. As much as u wanna deny its presence, it will still linger there.

Recently, many of my dearies are experiencing problematic r/s. I really hope all these can clear up soon...with 2007 approaching...there should be a new beginning.

another one

2006-12-14T06:47:00.000-08:00

I hardly get to blog twice a day...but here i am again.
Coz i realised i forgot to blog abt this VERY IMPORTANT thing that happened during the trip...and today i had all the time in the world.
Haha, finally i can get to chill out at home by myself..just playin' with vicky, do MDS* stuff & watching my latest K-drama, My Girl! This show is hilarious man...anyone wanna borrow? I got 5 sets of K-dvd from Shanghai plus 3 movies..yay!

Ok...i digressed again.
I wanna blog about the standard of living in China as compared to Singapore..its really a vast difference. After this trip, i thought to myself..if someone were to put me there and live for 1 yr or so..i will definitely become a changed person..as in realising the importance of money more and knowing how fortunate i am since im born. During the 1 week trip in China..i saw so many examples of poverty..its practically everywhere. People might think its bullshiet..but i really want to devote my retirement to social work..not in singapore but abroad. For the luxury i am enjoying now..i shall repay them when i retire. This is my lifelong goal..and it has always been since i was young. Going to China makes me even more certain to achieve this.

What did i see exactly? During this particular seminar with a university in Hangzhou, there was an old man in his 50's pouring tea glass by glass for everyone in the meeting room. There were about 35 of us in total. And there he was...pouring for each and everyone and bring the glass to the table and distributed to us. And he was smiling all the time. When he served me my tea, i looked at his dry & wrinkled hand..and my heart ached..i wonder to myself, how can someone ever be satisfied or contented doing a job like this for his whole life? The weather was so cold and he dont seem like he has sufficient clothing to keep himself warm..i was really affected by what i saw. It may seem unimportant to other ppl..but somehow, it struck me quite a bit.

And beggars...they are really EVERYWHERE...they roam the streets..or just park somewhere in the middle of the pavements. I mean...really parked, coz they have no limbs at all. They cant even move. I was really damn heartbroken to see this kinda things happen in China. We werent allowed to give em anything at all..not a single cent coz our tourguide said tt they belong to a syndicate..so their limbs are being chopped off intentionally so that they can beg for more money. This is damn sad. Some looked so cold, haggered and old..with no limbs and food...how i wish i can give em all my money...but once u give to one, alot more will appear..coz there were really tons of them. Wonder why the Chinese government is not doing anything to save this situation. Sucks to see this..so inhuman.

And today while im packing my room to shift to my new house...sense of guilt struck me. I suddenly thought of the beggars in China and the fact that i was throwing tongs of branded clothes, cosmetics, perfumes everything away...all these add up to thousands of dollars. Someone, pls wake me up from this unrealistic dream. I need a financial revamp to my life. Jiaming...eunice...anyone??

Shanghai Trip!

2006-12-14T02:13:00.000-08:00

Here's my Shanghai Trip entry!
Lotsa pics to share...more on the way coz some of my pics are with eunice! But here's some to enjoy 1st! ;)

I LOVE this trip totally! Not becoz of great shopping(coz thats for sure) but becoz of FANTASTIC COMPANY from the swiss group ppl! And the tremendous fun i've had on this trip...despite the bone-chilling weather that went deep through my 3/4 layers of clothes! But i still heart this roadtrip with eunice, the rest of the gals from smu(Denise, Nicole & Cheryl) & last but not least...friends that i have made from Italy, France, Switzerland, & Austria!
SMU: Cheryl, Denise, Eunice, me & Nicole
It was unexpectedly a really smooth flight to Shanghai..haha i thought i would suffer severely from air motion sickness...coz i didnt sleep much for the past few weeks...but amazingly i didnt! I slept throughout the 5.5 hrs of flight..only to wake up for breakfast & toilet..and back to zzz again. Eunice received a unhappy news that i thot would affect us for the rest of the trip...but den im glad it didnt...really a strong gal!

Reached there around lunchtime...and man, it was cold! The 1st thing tt struck me was...the toilets sucks. From tt moment onwards, i began to miss singapore's odour-free toilets! And omg..the toilet bowl...i realised its importance. Coz almost all the toilets in China is squat(thanks to mq..haha).....shiet. I haven use this kinda toilet for ages!! This happens when ppl like us start taking toilet bowls for granted..wait till u go China & the only thing that separates each cubicle is a small partition...once u stand up, u can see the person right nx to u shi**ing. And a pail of water for u to flush.....arg. Ok nuff abt toilets..lets move on.

Hmm..Me, eunice & cheryl were on the same flight..so we met up with Nicole at the airport & headed to the Holiday Inn Shanghai...really nice hotel! So clean...love the bed & toilet!! And there was a little fish bowl inside the room with fishes in it..how cool is tt! Me & eunice shared a room...couldnt get a double bed so i sticked to my single bed...haha the reason why i wanna get a double bed is coz...im really timid. I need someone beside me especially abroad and when the bed dont belong to me at all.....heh.
Our room @ Holiday Inn!
There we started our tour! Lotsa sightseeing...the gardens in Shanghai & Hangzhou is simply beautiful..they looked as if its a painting! The natural scenary is so captivating you wont get sick looking at it...i took tons of pics...but here's few to share with u guys!

Nice scenary!! ;)
Another thing worth mentioning is the magnificant infrastructure in Shanghai..really can be comparable to Singapore's. And the style of these buildings are different from those here...its more unique and interesting!

Looks like a spaceship...which has 200+ storeys. We were able to catch a bird's eye view of the whole Shanghai on top of this building!
And when it comes to bus ride...i will FOREVER DOZE OFF...and off to my dreamland. I dunno why it happened but i think its coz of the cold weather in China tt made me sleepy wherever i go..especially on the bus. I can sit down for a few mins..and the nx min, im asleep. And bus rides were long...normally we would take at least 1 hr be4 we can reach our destination..thats why i always catch up on my sleep on the bus. Nicole & Denise were amazed at the rate i can fall asleep on the bus...heh.
In the midst of bus rides...taking pics. Forever posing for pics! Even out of MDS*!
Denise & us!
On the way to some garden with the university students from Hangzhou!
Our daytime is filled with seminars after seminars...its quite hectic the way they planned schedule for us. But, i learnt alot during this trip...especially abt the China Business Economy..which in my opinion, the potential of it hasnt been fully tapped yet...am sure there's more room for further growth in various industries. We visited quite alot of places...like the Volkswagen Shanghai(coz this brand in China is very popular..one of the better car companies in Shanghai)...Suzhou Industrial Park(the joint venture of SIngapore & the Chinese Gov)..and other universities to look at how entrepreneurship is strongly encouraged in China. One thing i like abt this trip interms of learning..is tt there was alot of interaction going on btw us, the companies and universities. This really aid in learning more abt the economy..coz after every presentation, there will be a discussion session where we can throw our questions to them.
@ Volkswagen factory
Seminars... ...
Our LAST SEMINAR @ Shanghai University
And here comes nightlife! Yes..in singapore, we pretty much dont fancy having nightlife..but in shanghai, every night is so exciting and fun! We had KTV sessions with the swiss grp ppl..which is damn funny coz they simply CANNOT SING at all...but its entertaining to look at em sing. Besides KTV, we went to French Bars...and also to clubs! Haha...Eunice enjoyed herself ...especially clubbing her night away at Shanghai. And as usual, my good fren cannot drink...i had to skim through the drink list and see wads best for her...the lightest alcohol available. And if she cant finish, i will attempt to drink for her. Not that i can drink alot..but a tad better than her..haha. Its funny to see her enjoy clubbing and drinking...coz thats just not her at all. haha. Ok...it may sound like im partying my nights away during this trip..but NO! There were a few nights when we were being treated like princess too..we visited this hair salon back in Shanghai for 3 or 4 times to get our hair washed, blowed straight or do curls..and dyed our hair too! Its DAMN CHEAP...everytime i wash my hair plus free massage..its only 3 bucks! Thats why me & eunice die die also dont wanna wash ourselves..we rather visit the salon and sit there for a full hair treatment. The guys in the salon looked at us like as if we are some rare specimen in a museum coz to em..singaporeans are not supposed to be fluent in Chinese..yet we can speak quite well. They chat with us all e time and give us the best service and price! Damn shiok..whenever i think of 3 bucks to wash hair and blow..i think its worth every single cent! & to do hair in singapore..wa lao, its extortion man.
Yay..finally, drinking!
Yah drinking wearing thick clothings was plain wierddd.
I looked drunk, i know.
Our hearty meal @ Pizza Hut...finally got to eat some western food after days of chinese not-v-nice food!
Doing my hair @ the salon!
Me & Cheryl..!
In the midst of singing Zhang Huimei's ting hai...we posed for pics!
And now comes the best food i have eaten in Shanghai..definitely have to be the famous portugese egg tarts!!!!! Omg...its damn nice! Nicer than those in Singapore..its piping hot when we ate..and the egg just melt in our mouth..omg. And the best thing is its only 60cents each!!

Shopping..is a tad disappointing though. I think its coz of the cold weather there..so most of the clothes werent suitable for us. BUT...i conquered the bags. Heh. In total, i bought 4 or 5 bags. Surprisingly, i didnt shop much this time round...coz i didnt have e time to and also coz i was supposed to buy for MDS* ..not for myself. ;(
Should i curl my hair..or shud i not..i was almost psychoed to curl my hair in Shanghai...heh.
Last day in Shanghai!
Before we leave Pudong Airport...!
Finally..last day. We took a midnight flight back to spore. It was nice going home again...but i miss Shanghai..esp the company. ;) Its them who made my trip so enjoyable!
Home sweet Home.

back.

2006-12-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

Im back!
Will post up a LONG entry abt my trip to shanghai soon...
Stay tune! ;)
Meanwhile, visit http://msdivineshopper.blogspot.com for my latest launch!
Hee~

Exams phobia

2006-11-28T18:46:00.000-08:00

Exams. exams. exams.
I dragged going to school these few days...i dragged waking up too. Once my eyes open, i will straightaway think of the "study agenda" for today. So sick and tired of finance and econs. Esp econs...they sucks like hell. I dont even understand shiet from those pile of notes sitting on my table. Thats how it goes when u sway sway have a 8.30am class and when im still wavering btw my dreamland and reality. After class ended, the only thing i would remember is that i drank my teh peng in class and i was checking out sprees. Damn screwed. So the nx 2 days will be intensive mugging on econs, lots to catch up on those stupid theories. Dunoo which idiot invented econs. Its animal language.

Oh...3 more days to shanghai! Am really excited now as it is getting nearer...coz someone said it will actually snow there! Been ages since i last played with snow..errr...and shopping! Yah, i will aim to shop like mad at nite despite the freezing temperature! Would love to visit spa parlors with eunice if there's time...to reward ourselves for all the hard work. ;)

As usual, my entries are highly unstructured...im typing wadever tt comes to mind. Jiaming got the job he wanted! Am really happy for him coz i know how impt it is to him. I felt sooo bad ytd after reading his blog, i really shud try to curb my temper and listen to him more. Its so hard to stop and think that the world doesnt just revolve ard me and no one else. Somehow, im a selfish person. I expect him to be really sensitive to my feelings..but yet, im totally opposite. This thing has been inside me for so long, i guess its time to make some changes if possible. And i lurve the 10 commandments he put it upon him self...haha...no 1 has ever did this for me. Hope he follows though...haha. ;)

10 commandments

thou shall not make her drink tasteless water
thou shall not make her eat steam fish with skin
thou shall not make her eat dishes with garnishing
thou shall not call her on mobile when busy, specially carryings lots of bag & laptop
thou shall not make her wear black
thou shall not comment on the blemish on forehead.. er.. if theres any
thou shall never sigh, say sorry & end a sentence with yay
thou shall not call during nap/sleep
thou shall call home before mobile, hates radiation
thou shall nv call and start off with 'where re you now' or 'wat re you doin now'

but she loves me.

.commandments overruled. x

a new beginning

2006-11-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

A new start for me!
First of all, MDS* is shifting to Changi!
From January onwards, we will be having our photo shoot at my new house located at Changi...for more detailed description of where it is exactly...well just look for Changi Prison and u will see "Changi Heights". Haha...looking forward to taking pics in my new lovely house! And all the SPACE i can store MDS* clothes...the invincible walk in wardrobe that my daddy got an interior designer to do it for me...haha...thats the only thing i heart! Becoz i couldnt get my room painted purple or pink coz of some Fengshui guy tt he employed from Msia...ruined my color. So anyways, its my 3rd fav color: Pale yellow. ;)

2ndly, MDS is expanding! Gonna keep this in suspense first...but we have a really WELL-PLANNED lineup for december and 2007! Now, im solely in charge at what im best at...SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES & TRAVELLING. So glad tt i can channel my shopping desires to a different direction which still makes me equally satisfied.

3rdly...actually this shud be the thing i care about the most. Its ranked 3rd coz i dun really know wad to say...or explain or whatsoever. Dont ask me to ramble on with my story with him...the bottomline is im happy with him, and he's happy with me. I have never seen a guy who is able to endure all kinds of nonsense frm me and not getting angry at all. with my temper being so infamously BAD and me being spoilt since i was born...he can tahan all these and wanna know wads wrong with me. To him, he dont mind coz he thinks being lidat shows tt i have got character and he admire me for this. haha, wad a unique way of explaining my bad temper. But most imptly, he appreciates me and thats all that matters. He's like a real comfy portable bed that i lean on wherever i go. Makes me feel like snoozing everytime i lean on him. HAHA. He's my comedy channel too. ;)

And lastly...im flying soon! Will be overseas for 1st half of december. Hmm...enjoy my hols and also do purchasing for MDS! Do check my upcoming xmas series! ;) Miss ya all!

A new beginning

2006-11-20T07:25:00.000-08:00

A new start.
My source to happiness.
Him.
;)

*smiles*

Finally.

2006-11-03T08:38:00.000-08:00

Finally, i learnt to let go.
Whatever that doesnt belong to me.
I can say confidently to people around me now.
"He's the past."
When 2 people are not meant to be, there's no use struggling to hold on.
I learnt this during the past few mths.
No doubt it was hard and i almost wanna suffer from emotional breakdown, but i feel so relieved now.
And there's a guy who made all these seem easier.
Without him, i might still be "lost", and still losing sleep at night from missing my ex bf too much.
He's not a substitute, not a spare tyre wadever u call it.
He's almost like my soulmate, my remedy to unhappiness, my grumbling target, my laughter antidote...

just look at these and u will all know why he always make me laugh.
And make my day enjoyable despite all the stress and chaos going on in my life.
Presenting to you...Geo & the Frog Prince

&....The 8 NOs!

Halloween

2006-11-01T01:02:00.000-08:00

Looking at gays on Halloween is quite fresh to me.
Especially since i have NEVER step into a gay bar for my whole life.
Its amusing, disgusting, amazing and smelly.
Smelly coz almost every gay or guy smokes inside.
Almost choked my nose and Juliet's until we no longer need oxygen.

The experience is quite unique. Though i think i wont go this place for the time being. I feel like an alien there...not welcome at all coz all the gays are so infatuated by each other and totally immersed in their own world.
Girls dont exist at all for them.
Me & my frens just stood there looking at them fooling around...stripping and dancing.

Ok, after all, i still prefer phuture. And i love being straight.
I can never understand wad the non-straights are thinking.
Poor Juliet's bf felt really uneasy there...in the midst of soo many "guys".
Haha, but we protected him well.
Chaotic and sleazy place.

Jul's Beau

::Some lovely clothes from my new series!::

Pong pong shorts that will make legs look damn slim.

Retro tube....the material is damn nice to touch!

"batik-like" dress...but definitely better quality.

Boho top...look at the black n white contrast!

My super bimbo namecard! I love this man....its like how nice! Eunice's namecard look similar too.

My special friend.

2006-10-28T02:48:00.000-07:00

I dunno when he came along.
Just one fine day...we started talking and became close frens.
He has been making me laugh since then.
Make my everyday filled with nothing but laughter.
And im really indebted to him. He has done so much for me all these while...
& being the emotional me, i am touched.

I am really lucky to have him as my friend.
A friend who genuinely wants me to be happy no matter what happens.
This cute pal of mine saw my last entry and sent me an email to encourage me to keep going...and dont be ;(
And i really wanna thank him. with all of my heart.
I might have fallen for him, i dont even know myself.

By hotel Costes
Where do i start
Where do i begin to tell the love story of how great your love can be
The simple love story that is as old as the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do i start

.....the loveliest wallpaper i've ever seen.....

Geo is really blissful to have him as her friend. A person who always pulls her up when she's unhappy and troubled, someone who is there for her to lean on.
I say, "THANK YOU". Really. From the bottom of my heart.

laughter

2006-10-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

Recently,
i find myself giggling and laughing in the midst of whatever im doing.
Not that i am mad.
But i am happy.
Just purely happy.
And im laughing more than usual.
I have never feel like this for a long time.
Like not having the need to laugh, but it just comes naturally.
And i love being like this.
Cheery and happy all the time.
Even when im unhappy, i know there's someone to cheer me up.

My laughter remedy.

::Vicky::

2006-10-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

I love Vicky to bits. Look at all these pics. So dressed up. Even a chihwahwa can be trendy ok.

Her Hawaiian Look with her snoopy hat
Looking demure with her snoopy hat, checkered scarf and little pink dress!

Looking at the nice scenary outside e windows
Guarding her huge gigantic door as usual
Dozing off is her hobby
& of coz, like any other Ms Universe, she loves WORLD PEACE. ;)

2006-10-19T02:46:00.000-07:00

Wa.
Today i met this guy who looks like a perfect, typical web-designer.
With specs, unkempt hair, not-very-flat stomach..heh.
Ok, but thats not the point.
The point is...
it cost ALOT to do up a really nice website.
I was very into the idea of setting up a domain website,
but now i guess we have to stall it for sometime.
Cos it will strain our resources for MDS*...me & eunice reckoned that we would rather use our financial resources to buy prettier, nicer clothes for our customers than to have a beautiful upfront. Still, image is important, i cant deny that.
Just a matter of time before we have our very own MDS* website...
called:
www.msdivineshopper.com
OMG...how nice would that be.
We are working very hard towards this! ;)
Oh, and today we realized that we have a competitor in smu...haha they also doing retail biz, but their clothes style is very different from ours, and our lovely school was the background setting for taking photos. The more coincidental thing is...1 of the models, happened to be my poly mate, Yanting. I was rather shocked. But okay, competition is good...make us wanna improve even more. ;)

On a different note,
some of us got scolded by our marketing prof during class today.
And not surprisingly, i was one of them.
And i think its pretty obvious why.
Cos i cant stop talking...and stupid enough, i was sitting right in front of him.
Arg. He said he might mark us down on class participation grades.
Shucks. Thats like 20%....idiot.
My friend la...had to tell me there's BODYSHOP WAREHOUSE SALE AT SUNTEC CITY EXHIBITION HALL 4...which got me all excited!!! End up got scolded. ;(

I am going tmr...hah. First 500 customers got free gifts worth $20 each!
I wanna get my lip balm, rose shower foam, scrub, cotton pads..
Thats all for now.
Am listening to skincare talk in smu now.
Haha...is this a school or wad?
Instead of attending business talks or whatsoever...
i am ALWAYS sighing up for skincare or makeup talks.

lalalalalalalalala...
I am in love with the crown prince in "Gong"...
am going to see more of him later,
in my square box.
;)

Good or Bad?

2006-10-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

I feel so cheated. By shops in Far east.
Haha i used to be so proud of myself if im able to find good buys in Far east.
Tops that cost 36 bucks and above, i wont hesitate to buy if its nice.
Yet today...while im busy racking my brains thinking which color will be more receptive to my customers...i bumped into 2 ladies selling clothes at far east whom I ALWAYS PATRONISE. I must say i have NEVER fail NOT to walk into their shops when i do retail therapy there...and i never fail NOT to buy anything from them. WHY? Becos they always say...."ok la..give u 10% discount." And being cheapskate, im ELATED with just 10% discount, thinking i have gotten a good deal. And now, this has also become my catch phrase. "give u 10% lo" "frens mah"

But i must say...
MDS* made me smarter...more street smart i guess.
Really. Doing retail business with my dear Eunice together made me realized so many things in this line. I have learnt so much during the past 3 mths. And much more to come. Now, i can walk into Far east and come out without spending A SINGLE CENT...and this was thought to be highly impossible in the past..or shud i say, totally impossible.

And i have learnt the art of not being affected by wad some crazy ppl tag at my tagboard(if u guys read abt it.) Haha...dont worry, im fine! I f**k care wad she wrote cos its so damn obvious she's either jealous or got nth better to do. Worst of all, she insult ppl without even bothering to find out the facts first. I have never seen such a dumbass like her. And Eunice replied her sui sui. I love her reply. haha. Let me quote eunice again....

"Thanks for ur comment. I think there is a misunderstanding! We are the seller of the clothes and we model them too! Even though we may not be as pretty as you but we feel its practical cos our customers needa know the fit of our clothes. But no worries, we will improve on our picture quality and our customers will be very satisfied if we do so! Nx time if u have other constructive comments, do leave ur name so tt we can thank u properly cos u are improving our service quality! =)"

hahahahahahaa....luff like hell. Stupid idiot.

Ok, on a serious note...i wanna say...
MY HOLS ARE COMING TO AN END!!!
When i haven even feel it started.
wtf.
First, i was down with flu again, den had cramps for 2 days, bz with MDS*...project meetings...realised tt my MARKETING QUIZ is actually on this tues, not thurs...shiet. wa lao...im really sian-nified.
Haha, and now instead of reading my notes, i am blogging and taking part in an online discussion. wth. Bad time management.

People, pls go watch "gong"! Its like how funny...the girl's really cute. If u like "full house"...will definitely fall in love with "gong" too. This few nights, i have been staying up to finish my show!! Darn nice, i must say. Sometimes touching...sometimes funny! Go grab urs! Or watch on channel U. (sharon...be patient...hahahahaha me still watching lah~~~~~)

Miss me darlings.
;)

Over the moon!

2006-10-04T05:32:00.000-07:00

Am really happy these few days becos of MDS*!
When customers comment abt how nice this series is...or abt us doing a great job, me & eunice really appreciate these comments from them!
Becos...we are really working hard to fulfill our dream!
Opening a shop or registering our website internationally...;)

Recently, i came to realise more good things about my own life.
Which means my life dont only revolve ard LOVE...there are many more things for me to pursue. Things tt are worth my time and much more meaningful.
Things tt wont cause my heart to be broken.

Like spending time with my frens, expanding my MDS* with eunice, my doggie, fixing my nails and facials, shopping...just be myself again.
My "old self" is coming alive again.
Congrats to me.
And thanks to MANY for your precious advice. You know who you are.
Thanks a million.

My 1 week break coming soon! Yay...finally i can catch my breath for a while before i start school with additional 2 more modules to keep my busy.
Negotiation & Finishing Touch.
Teach me how to argue n talk...and dress like like an office lady. ;(
Wonder why SMU has to coach us in these areas...arg.

Jul's 21st

2006-09-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Juliet!!
Stay pretty always.
And KEEP that precious bf of yours well.
He's definitely a keeper for sure.
Haha, offcially certified and approved by me, sharon & jill.

Wonder why we think he's a keeper?
I really have to comment him on his gentleman & soo attentive behaviour the whole night.
While Juliet was busying entertaining her frens n relatives, Edwin was busy as well.
Going around pouring wine, setting up the catering food, taking pics for everyone, preparing the cake and candles...basically MR PERFECT.
Though im not juliet, but i am touched too. By his actions. Goes to show how much my dear friend means to him. ;)
And after all the hardwork, when we made our leave, he's still smiling(he was basically smiling the whole night) and waving goodbye to us. Gosh. I really have nth to hiam abt him. *Envious*

Anyways, all 4 of us had our 21st already...nx coming up will 22ND!!!! Die lar...im growing older with each passing day. And im still studying at this age??!! Wonder when i can realize all my dreams....still wondering....

Back to the party. Food was great...perhaps it was becos we are DAMN HUNGRY too. Jill ATE 2 PLATES OF FOOD...and sharon had a plate filled as high as a hill. Haha...and we gobble all down while chattering away. Feels great to just sit down and chill with these girls. And talk abt EVERYTHING that happened in our life recently thats worth mentioning and discussed. Yes, means there's no secrets btw us. haha, for me at least.
And not to forget our usual photo taking session...all the wierd poses and expressions from sharon especially...nv fail to make me luff like hell. idiot.

Oh oh, and my long time friend! Justine.....hahaha that crazy gal! She's another friend of mine who's really crazy, happy-go-lucky and always luffing. Still remember our FYR project?? Those times when we will head to ktv all the time...and we will sing FIR songs togr. haha she 1 verse i 1 verse...as if its our own concert. And we would stand at the sofa and treat it as a stage. Haha..simply ridiculous and in our own world. So glad to see her again! Oh, and she reads my blog..haha bet u gonna luff again when u read this entry!!! So we meeting at NUS...SMU...or SIM?? haha...smu lah, town area so convenient. Can go walk, shop and eat mah. ;)

This was part of the b'dae door gift, haha we used it as our foto props.
My crazy frens wanna act like porn stars. Look @ this...a real muscular one. wtf.
Another "porn star"...yucks. According to sharon, we totally dont have s** appeal. idiot.
Finally...a decent shot.
Justine & me!

Thats my share of b'dae cake from Sheraton Hotel!! Very chocolat-licious!
Cheers.

Supposed to act drunk...but i think they look like a joke here. haha

We were trying to act like retards...but i just cant. Look at the one on my right. A perfect rendition of retard. wahahah

Balloons everywhere!
Happy 21st jul!

more time.

2006-09-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

I totally agree with min in her previous post abt having more time in a day.
I guess many of us hope that there are MORE than 24 hrs a day.
So that we can have our 10 solid hrs of beauty sleep, 2 hrs of peaceful meals(not rushing to eat finish), 2 hrs of total "stoning" and just idle ard, 45 mins to enjoy bathing, 2 hrs of tv daily, 3 hrs of msn...and da rest, errr....projects and classes.

I am so deprived of time on my own...and rest.
Everyday is filled with school, tests and projects.
Oh, and meeting customers.
Everyday i look like a santa claus, besides my school bag and laptop, there would be another bag filled with clothes cos i have to meet customers during our breaktime.

And we dont even have time to launch our new series despite the arrival of our new stock. ;( It has been lying there for almost 2 weeks...but we are just too busy to update our website. Promise to make it up after our mid term tests man...will get more new stock plus the current new batch!! Definitely gonna satisfy everyone's shopping desires...heh. ;)

And recently i find myself getting more n more forgetful. Wondering if my memory space is running low or wad...i've been forgetting alot of things in my life. Like for example, i left my laptop twice in a month somewhere and forgotten to take it with me when i left....and the worst thing is i only realised it when ppl asked me where is my laptop. ahhhh. Once was in "The soup spoon" after dinner...the other was in smu's toilet. gosh. I cant imagine if my laptop is gone for good, my dad will kill me. And ytd, i was patiently waiting for min to finish doing my earrings, hoping tt i can wear it soon...yet when i was packing my bag and getting ready to leave, i put everything inside my b ag EXCEPT FOR THE EARRINGS. wtf. And i totally didnt realised it until before i sleep...searched high n low for it...was really impatient cos i thot i dropped my ballerina SOMEWHERE. arg. Luckily, my frens saw it and they kept it for me. hahaha. Maybe i am just plain blur. Has always been a "blur" person since i was young, forget this and that...always in my own world. But being so blur is beginning to irritate me.

Back to mugging for econs. arg.
Pls look forward to my latest series,
"FLY THE TRENDY SKIES"
ooh la la

PISSED.

2006-09-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

I am FUCKING furious.
Some people can just pissed me off so much that i feel like strangling her or him.
Bloody hell.
ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
Damn.

I miss my project groups last semester ALOT.
Miss them cos they were so efficient and productive.
And we were really A TEAM, and not individuals.
We helped each other besides doing our own share bit of work.
AND WE NEVER COMPLAIN.
I dont have people doing their own bloody shiet during meetings and then never catch the details for our nx meeting. Last min say she cant make it. WTH. And suggest to us we change our meeting to suit her time. And i SERIOUSLY HATE inefficiency!! Already said DAMN CLEAR when i divided the different parts of the report for everyone, den u know wad??!! The nx meeting....everyone hardly DO ANYTHING. Den they tell you, "i dont know wad to write for my own part". So wad? Are we supposed to tell u wad u have to write even?? Cant u read it up urself??????
I am fucking pissed. ANd she can correct my spelling in the email i sent to everyone cos i flared up and was hitting DAMN HARD on my little keyboard!!!! YAH FUCK I SPELL GRAMMAR AS GRAMMER...so!!!!! FUCKER PIECE OF SHIET.

ANd for a 3 pages DOULBE SPACING report, i have 3 out of 5 people editing thebloody thing when i shud have more people working on the content. Can u all believe it??? Editing of structure and grammar, language wadever i have 3 people!!! Isnt content supposed to be more important than anything else???

Wa. I am really pissed off like shit now. Done so many freaking projects in poly and now, this is really the most disgusting group i have ever come across in terms of productivity, cooperation and efficiency.

clearer pics

2006-09-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

Finally, we have time to take clearer pics for some of our items last series!
Rushing home right after school...before it got dark at my house,
TADAH! Here are the pictures! Do email us if u are interested in purchasing!
msdivineshopper@yahoo.com.sg
Many lovely thanks!

::little balloon gal::
::exotic black::
::enchante beauty in brown strips::
::enchante beauty in red & blue::
NEW ITEM ADDED in exquisite series! ::polka dolka::

MDS new series!

2006-09-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

*The exquisite series*
A little different this time round!
BAGS imported ONLY from EUROPE, denim shorts, mini skirts and babydoll tops!
CLICK HERE!!!
Email us @ msdivineshopper@yahoo.com.sg!
Thanksss

retail is therapeutic

2006-09-09T23:51:00.000-07:00

Mickey, rest in peace. He died this morning. And my dad sent him away. I dont wanna buy anymore hammies, so heartbroken. I woke up to see that his cage was gone. And he was gone too. My tears came down as i stared at the empty cage. Though it was only 1 yr, but i gave some of my love to him.

Now, u guys should understand why am i shopping like crazy recently.
Retail has been quite intense for me over the past one week or so.
Yeah, i BOUGHT ALOT.
And i mean, really ALOT.
Some from sales, some fr shopping and some online.
Am i addicted to retail therapy?
But honestly, it does make me feel better.
Not spiritually, but more like mentally. I treat it as a way to brighten up my mood.
Its definitely restorative and curative in some ways. But i wonder if its doing me good or harm.
Haha, why? Cos i spent like more than $300 over the past few days.

It might not make sense to some ppl cos since im running a retail business online, why am still i spending so much??? Thats cos, being me, very fickle-minded...even though i bought alot from my own website, but cos i see these clothes EVERYDAY, i dont have to wear them to get sick of it. Just by looking at it, i am already tired of them. ;(

Before i post pics of wad i bought, i am really happy that my dad said we might b shifting soon. Next to my uncle's house at changi. Haa, cos apparently, the bank just release the house for sale. I really hope i can change a new staying environment soon. For many reasons. One of which is my room is too small for ME and MY BELONGINGS. It look like a dump no matter how much u tidy it. I need a room like Grace's, which is at least 4 times bigger than my current room. Arg. *envious*
3 skirts from warehouse & topshop sale
GG5 top which is damn troublesome to wash and iron cos of its quality material, so need extra care in handling. Arg, regretted buying it. So troublesome.
Pink tankie from warehouse
bag, hat and belts. Ok dont know why i bought the hat, its nice but doubt i will even wear it.
Another top from warehouse
Vivienne westwood necklace
online spree..haha dunno why recently i loveee off-shoulder tops soo much!!
Yah ok, thats all. When will i finish wearing all these?? I still alot more in my cupboard.

UG darlings.

2006-09-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

Yeap! It was yet another UG outing.
Before i get into wad we talked abt, who came and wad happened...etc etc.
I wanna say UG actually means "Universal Gang" and not "Universe Gang" according to min. Ha, but me & meiqi claimed it started with Universe Gang before it changed. Anyways, thats the point. The point is we called ourselves this name during our secondary school days when we were damn boliao and naive. Hence, we have a nickname for everyone. Haa, i know my UG mates gonna kill me cos they hate to be reminded why they were being called UG but haa no harm telling ppl la! Its all sweet childhood memories!

Lets start with myself. I am Star...dunno 1 or 2 ok? Must ask meiqi cos she is Star also..ha. Either 1 or 2 la. Den Fang is MOON. Min is CLOUDS. Ok, tts all i remmeber. Da rest i really forgotten. Sorry. Wadever it is, we use elements of the universe la, tts why we are called UG. Haa, how lame rite.

Ok back to our outing! Min said she alr blogged abt our outing, she's waiting for me to post the pics up! So if u guys wanna read more, can visit her blog. Otherwise, i can tell u a little bit here. Ok 1stly, we were shocked to see ting's new squeeze. As usual. And it turned out to be her very own tattoo artist! (ha, how many times must i repeat this to everyone?) And yeah, its pretty obvious my dear fren is having her HONEYMOON PERIOD! Haa, we can all see how super sweet u guys are. ;)

Oh and as usual, my frens have to hear me complain abt this and that all the time. I will always update them with my never-ending complaints abt my life once i met up with them. Haa, and they will start giving me advices which i can say for sure, i heeded none of them. Ahh. They call it "the geo syndrome" or "the world of geo". Haa, my good friends.

Oh, and meiqi, really hope u guys are fine ok? UG heart you & sean. Heh. Sort out the problem and stay together as one ok? ;)

Before i post our pics, i would like to announce that Ms Divine Shopper* is having a mega sale now! Yes, its our monthly sale time! So do visit MDS SALE!
Re-orders not possible ah! Once sold, its gone!!!

Notice that in ALL the closeup shots, my face is always being squeezed like mad cos im in the middle. Know why that happened? Cos when i wanna take pic with 1 more person, the rest start squeezing their faces beside mine so that they can be SEEN in the shots. ARG.

overworked.

2006-09-05T09:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, i feel very overworked. Tired. Weary.
Basically drained.
My everyday is busy, more busy and still busy.
With wad?
School, ms divine shopper and friends.
That i dont even have time to bring vicky to see doctor again. Her poor skin is getting worse.
Hurts me to see her lidat. When i tell others abt her skin condition and they tell me, maybe u cant do anything abt it. Maybe she's just old.
...........
She's really getting old?
Vicky's reaching 7 yrs old soon. I cant imagine her getting old and all sickly. I just cant accept the fact that she's experiencing all these probs cos she's old.
In my heart, she's always young, full of vibe and always there for me. When im unhappy or sad, she's the only one who will give her whole heart and all her love.
And its unwavering.
It wont change becos of wadever reasons, thats why she's soo deary to me. Despite her shitting or peeing ard da house, she's still soo adorable and lovely.
When i am damn sick of things or people around me, she's the only one i can count on. Cos i will never be sick of her.

Today i realised i am soo sick of many things around me. I feel so spiritless. I am trying to be happy and stay positive. But i just cant. Behind my smile is all my frustration with my life and everything.
I need to find a new shore.
I need my peace.
I need to find my therapy.
I need to find my happiness somewhere.

De Dolce Gal

2006-08-31T20:25:00.000-07:00

Here comes another NEW batch!
Me & eunice are always so busy when it comes to thurs night & friday.
Why? To get everything up on Ms Divine Shopper* so that people can shop over the weekend!
It always gets kinda crazy & exciting when it comes to launching new batch of stuff. Cos there's so much to be done before we can post them up ahh. Not that easy as people may think.
But nonetheless, i always enjoy doing all these ok? haha when people say our clothes are nice...i will be like SO OVER THE MOON.

Our new series called "De Dolce Gal"!
Please scroll down to my LINKS & click on "Ms Divine Shopper*". heh.

Oh, and before i forget, i just wanna emphasize something here...Yes, i am single now, but like i said i wanna practise abstinence from love, being hurt in this r/s is gonna take god knows how long to recover, i dont want to put myself in this kinda situation or fall in love again. At least for now. And moreover, i still like ron. Though im trying to get over him, and he seems like a stranger to me now, but the fact is, i am STILL IN LURVE with him. This love is not something that i can get rid of overnight. And even if i get ron out of my heart, i dunno if i wanna like someone for the time being. When it comes, it will come. Im leaving everything to fate. ;) I dont want any bf now. Thank you very much. I am glad being single.

Anyways, today was KTV session with my usual gang! At Kbox! Sang our hearts out till 11+ and our bill shot up to 111. dunno how many cents. But then, haiyah...we are just photo whores. And a bunch of bitches. Especially me & Jill...taking photos are just so fun that we cant stop! And poor sharon got so irritated with us, cos she has to concentrate singing(if not, will go out tune) and at the same time, help us snap shots! Haa...!

Yes, Fully concentrated on choosing the songs i wanna sing! haha
Superman & Lois Lane(ME!!)
Yeah right.Playboy magazine according to Jillian. WTH. More like "being played".

No doubt we look kinda dumb here, i know.

school craze!

2006-08-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah its back to SCHOOL DAYS.
Mugging, rushing for classes, project meetings, presentations.
AND not forgetting, STRESS.
I can see all of it coming my way soon.
I wanna switch back to my mugging mode...or "student" mode.
But its hard...my footsteps seem to stop at my "holidaying" mood during the past 4 mths or so.
Gosh.
School seem so unfamilar. Even friends or classmates. I can walk past them without knowing their names. Totally cant recall wad were their names.
Today is already the second week into the semester.
And im still "blur", like how i missed the first week of class during my year 1 days.
Im really glad that this sem, me & eunice can be in the same classes for almost all the modules. In the midst of all these chaos going on around me, i am relieved that my good friend is here with me to perk me up. ;) And cheers to Ms Divine Shopper*...its finally taking off and earning some moolahs. I put half of my heart and soul inside so really hope it can amount to something that i can be proud of myself.
Just some infomation for those who dunno when we will update our website with NEW ARRIVALS...it will be EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT ok? Take note ahh!! Very important & crucial...hahaha. We will definitely try our best to bring in more variety and stuff...but cos this is only our part time work, so we cant totally devote all our time and effort to this. Especially when schools gets busy...we might even neglect it for a while! But not to worry, we will make a comeback definitely!

As for my "kapo" frens who are concerned with how i am getting on with my EX lover....im fine ok? Today, i was rather surprised that so many ppl in smu actually know we broke up. The fact that i didnt make it an OPEN news...but yet it spreads ard so fast, must be those big mouth frens of mine. Haiyoh. But yeah, im getting fine. After these few weeks, i have made up my mind to let go. Completely. Cos i guess i have to come to my senses. And face up reality, no more beautiful dreams at night. I dont blame ron for all these that happened...honestly, its fated. I just feel that this r/s developed at the wrong time and it has to end. I treat him as a very special guy who came into my life and taught me alot of things, be it good or bad. Cos i really learnt alot from him and our r/s. He will always have a place in my heart not becos i love him, but becos he's ron.(haa...i doubt u guys will understand wad i mean...but nvm.)

Yeah, in a way im resigning myself to fate cos there's really nothing much i can do anymore. The only way is to forget abt him and move on. I cant say for sure that i have gotten over him totally...but in time to come, i believe i will. In school, we still hang ard quite often cos we have a number of same modules...but i cant feel the love and affection from him anymore. So i guess its easier for me to treat him as an ordinary friend. And after talking things out that day with ron, i feel that i shud just make myself happy so that he can be happy as well. As long as both of us are happy, it makes this breakup worthwhile.
;)
Right now, i wanna practise ABSTINENCE FROM LOVE. haha.

Fashionista

2006-08-26T21:42:00.000-07:00

Time to do some advertising for my new batch of goods!
"FASHIONISTA" theme!
Lotsa strips, floral prints this time round ;)
Do check em out!

Here's some pictures of wad we have selected:

Ahh...all these stuff i also bought myself!! Haa, love em! ;)

Smoove.

2006-08-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

I went to NUS bash with sharon, jill, juliet, jill's bf & his fren at MOS ytd night!
It was smoove, R & B.
But....ARG. I have 'nuff of clubbing my night away.
Guys are just so....yucks. Dunno where are they from.
And tranvesites everywhere. OMG. Almost wanna puke despite only drinking a bourbon coke & vodka lime.
The music's still okay...sometimes it got too slow until i dunno how to dance according to the rhythm. When that happens, i will head towards the toilet and stone there with my frens. Haa...instead of clubbing, we were snapping pics & chit-chatting inside! The toilet's a more comfy place to be in, for me at least. Outside's just a mess man.
There's this despo guy...gosh, goodness man..he can actually be ATTRACTED to a half man half woman creature. Yeah...creature thats the word to describe them. Or maybe freak? Wadever. But he was starring right into HIS breasts the whole time...touching HIM everywhere. YUCKS. And did i forget to mention tt before he danced with tt half man & half woman...he was lingering BEHIND MY BACK??!!! DOUBLE YUCKS. fucker. Damn disgusting. Stupid despos.
I used to have my bf to protect me wherever i go...so i never knew clubbing is so weary until yesterday. When u have to fend off those flies around you...it just gets on my nerves. And they LOVE to pop from behind...when u cant even see their freaking ugly face, they will dance close to my little butt. Shiet ass. ANd just when i came out of the toilet walking to find my frens, these grp of guys stopped me say wanna buy drinks for me. WTH. Yeah as if i will drink with em. ARG. I cant stand despos! Haa, maybe im just boring and not spontanous. But clubbing is getting more and more sucky. The only thing i enjoyed the MOST was taking photos! haa...
LOOK @ my photos galore!

OHH...i've been using this FOUNDATION PRIMER from Paul & Joe, its GOOD! See how my makeup stays & the radience the primer produce on my face! Go get urs! Thumbs up for this pdt!

Yes, thats how bored i am! Haa

Yeah thats how we entertain ourselves when we dont like the music outside!

I dont wanna club anymore...for NOW. ;)

Im a window shopper now!

2006-08-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

Was shopping the whole day in town with Jill & Sharon...
For like 5 or 6 hrs,
in the end...i bought nothing!
I really cant believe it, its like a record set ah. I have never bought almost NOTHING during shopping my entire life. Omg..this is really unbelievable. After i started Ms Divine Shopper*, i find myself becoming smarter towards shopping..like wad are the stuff i can buy & wad i shouldnt.

And finally, we got to meet up with Juliet's bf, Edwin. I saw him before but didnt really talk much the other time. He's quite a gentleman, i must say. Happy for my dear friend. ;) And seems like now im the only one who is "single" right now...kinda not used to it. Cos im always the one who's attached all the time and always the one who has endless things to yadah abt my lovelife. And now, i became the listener instead. My dear fren Sharon is also in love! Jill's happily attached with her bf & Juliet too. Hmm, i dont feel tt im pathetic or what...just a tad not used to it.

I know Ron wont read my blog after we broke up. So i can write wadever i want here. And i hope he wont read also...and know im such a useless girl. Yes, i still haven gotten over him. Its not easy. Many times in a day, i hope i will receive a sms from him or just chat with him online, i realise tt nowadays, these are the little things tts enuff to make me smile. I know i will get lotsa knocks on my head from all u guys when u read this...but honestly, im at a loss too. Im really trying very hard to get over this r/s. In my heart, no matter how much i want him back, i know its really impossible btw us. Its never gonna work out btw us, thats wad he said to me. I just find it so hard to accept this fact whenever i think how happy i can be when im in his arms. Or all the little gestures of love that he has shown to me for the past 9 mths...and how much time we have spent togr...it breaks my heart to think abt all these.

Today, i met him for lunch. Dont scold me pals. I know now isnt the right moment to see my ex-bf, esp. when i still like him so much. But i just want my heart to feel better. Indeed, i felt rather happy when i saw him. We talked quite abit...even though there were moments of silence. I guess we just dunno wad to say to each other. There's so much tt i wanna say to him, but i dunno how to. I kinda regret not saying , "I love you" to him, not making use of any chance at all to express how i feel towards him when we were still togr. And recently, i always have this urge of saying to him. How ironic.

Cus i need to post some stuff to my customers, i was writing the address when i heard him picking up a call from his overseas fren. And i could guess tt he was asking ron who he's with and wads hes doing...and he replied, "im with a friend. " I almost wanna tear. My heart almost crumble into pieces. I try so hard to hold back my tears. I will never be able to tell other ppl he's my friend only, esp in front of him.

Im such a failure.

new stuff up!

2006-08-17T03:17:00.000-07:00

Yeap peeps!
A sneak preview into the 2nd batch of items!
And of cos, your prettiest, gorgeous, cute lady----->ME as the model!
hahaha ;) I just love modelling for all these clothes!
Ok, but soon we will take away this idea of using us as the models, cos apparently we think it doesnt look professional...heh. Pls do let us know if u guys prefer US being the models. Haa ;) I'll gladly DO IT for you.

Take a peep! If you like anything HERE, pls proceed to Ms Divine Shopper* @ my links section. Thanks!!

TADAH! Thats NOT ALL ok, lots more at Ms Divine Shopper*!!

Ms Divine Shopper*

2006-08-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

Yes!
BRAND NEW Ms Divine Shopper*!!
Not the old one...thats for 2nd hand stuff!
This is BRAND NEW STUFF FROM TAIWAN, KOREA & HONGKONG!
Go grab it before its gone!!
And support me! ;)

photos galore.

2006-08-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah, photos sharing time!
My darling shihui wants me to post pics on my blog so that she can "kop" from here. Just now, we were like 2 stupid girls trying to find suitable backgrounds and lightings to snap pics of us in orchard. Haa, so embarrassing la. Okay, anyways some pics that we took just now sitting by the roadside drinking...infront of heeren shops...ha, enjoy!

Ok, now then i realise my hair is V shape, yucks!!! I want to get it trim straight. This sucks man.

Yup, you can see we are really 2 crazy women.
Just now, we went to Origins. Ha, i was supposed to work there for this 4-mths hols. And in the end, i did NOTHING. Like absolutely NOTHING. I wasted like 1/3 of a year. Gosh. Ok anyways, thats not the point. The point is that i went origins to take a look at this xfoliator that qimin & lotsa ppl gave thumbs up for. The modern friction exfoliator. Cost $75. The SA tried some on my hand and i thought the rice starch felt soo coarse. Like anytime gonna peel off my face skin. I cant imagine using it on my little face. But she said its normal...my skin is quite sensitive to exfoliation which is why i have never try it myself. Only at facials. But i was soo convinced by her that i shud exfoliate my skin at least once a week to look more radient. I dont exfoliate AT ALL...but is my skin dull? Hmm. I really dunno. But anyways, im gonna try exfoliating my face for once and see the difference! Oh, and not to forget, i bought this hydrating mask from NUXE...shihui said its recommended by "nu ren wo zhui da" this taiwanese bimbo show..ha. So, will blog abt the results once i start using it! Stay tune!

a pathetic bet

2006-08-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

I went to meet Jill & Sharon for dinner and dessert ytd in town.
And told em that im single now and why i let ron go.
The only reason is becos of religion.
We do have other probs; but all these i believe can be solved ultimately if we want to. But its the religion issue that will always be there.
I cant guarantee if i will ever become a christian.

Cos of family business background, my entire family, and also, there are alot of areas in christianity that i dont agree and believe. And right now, im feeling so skeptical abt christianity. WHY? Becos to me, religion is supposed to be something that binds people together, regardless of wad forms of religion, just like race. But yet, christianity puts people of a different religion apart. They can only bind with you if you are "one of them". And even in love, religion becomes the biggest issue. Without religion, there's no love.

Since i was small, i have always been a tv freak. All the dramas i watched before abt love...now i realised that its impossible in reality and that it only happens in that square box call television. These scriptwriters really deceived me...;( They always portrayed a couple so happily togr and all these happen becos of LOVE. Love is enough for a happy couple to stay togr. But in reality, its not enough for some people. Even with love, in the end you can still go your separate ways. How sad is that.

These few days i've been thinking alot...breaking up with him is of cos very hard for me. I dunno how long its gonna take for my heart to recover from this. Cos after all, ron has really became a huge part of my life since i went to smu last yr. And we have been through so much togr this one yr that he alr has his place in my heart. And now, i have to treat him like a friend which i dunno if i can ever do that. Maybe in time to come.

But honestly, i really learnt a lot from this r/s. This is really one of the most important phrase in my life...i have come to realise many things in life. Firstly, i should know a guy better before i get togr with him. That means, make everything clear first...his background & all. Somehow, dating a non-christian or catholic will be one of my main bf criteria. I know tt sounds dumb...but i really detest putting myself in such a situation ever again. Secondly, he must love me more than i love him. If not, in time to come, i will definitely suffer. 3rdly, he must appreciate me. Yea, thats about all. Easy isnt it? My frens make it sound like as if its so easy for me to find another guy. Its not lo...not easy to find a guy whom i like and he also like me. So pathetically, im being pulled into this bet cos im single again. Every new yr countdown, we will have this bet amongst the 4 of us. Whoever remains single when a new yr approaches will have to treat the rest a sumptuous meal. Now its my turn. ;( (cross my fingers*)

Ok, time to share some pics!

Suspense mode.

2006-08-11T23:47:00.000-07:00

Recently, me & my dearie eunice are up to something.
And its gonna be ready real soon!
A BRAND NEW Ms Divine Shopper* is gonna launch soon...in 2 days time!
Keep your eyes fixed on my blog!
We are about 7788 to complete everything.

Yesterday was really fun cos we went product-hunting for 4 hrs straight and found lotsa pretty, girlish stuff tt im sure all of you will adore! Heh.
Galfrens & guys, please give me full support for this ok?
It has been something i always wanted to do since poly days..but my parents dont really allow. Cos my daddy thinks there's no future to it.
Now, its just the beginning. If response is good, i have further plans to develop it!
My dad, amazingly said he wants to sponsor me everything and help me whenever he can! And he actually offer to help me print name-cards?!Haa...haven even started wanna print namecards alr. Anyways, my dad is someone who loves giving namecards to everyone he meet. Like very proud of himself. haa. Great dad i have!
He even wants to offer us office space. Errr....but the ground is still empty. They are only starting to build his office.

Hmm...i hope with this new direction in my life, it will give me even more shopping trips OVERSEAS! To places like taipei, shanghai, korea, japan, hongkong and aussie! Totally looking forward to it!(To shihui: Time to go shopping overseas babe!)

Ok, nuff said. So busy. Tmr i have to meet like 2 or 3 customers. I cant even remember who alr. My current shopping blog will still be a place where i upload new 2nd hand stuff to sell...mostly due to impulsive buying. But guess im gonna make it STRICTLY NO MEETUPS...cos i really dont have the time to meet them personally and pass to them! So always check tt blog for updates. As for the new site me & eunice are setting up, its something a tad different.

Counting down to the launch of Ms Divine shopper*....
........

Ok, on a serious note. Im kinda worried about my weight problem. I seem to be getting lighter and lighter even when i maintained my diet. I was shocked when i weighed myself just now. Few weeks ago, it was 39kg. Was happy cos i put on 1 kg. Then slowly, it dropped to 38kg. Then 37.5....and now, its 36 kg!!!! SHUCKS. I really dunno wads wrong with me. Wonder if this is normal and shud i see a doctor. Anyone knows abt this kinda weight loss problem pls advise me, thanks! I really look much thinner compared to before, and i wanna gain some mass desparately! My poor boobs and butt gonna be gone if i dont gain some kilos. ARG. This is really like my all-time low. I tried eating fatty foods...snacks...pasta...wadever can make me fat. But no use. ;(
HELPPPPP.

So busy!

2006-08-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah, today is definitely another busy busy day.
Even without my other half with me.
Spent like almost the whole day online, selling my stuff....made quite a number of deals today!
Unknowingly, i happened to chance upon a blog selling stuff like me...den saw so many ppl posting their blog address so that more ppl can visit...i did the same too! And within minutes, i got emails asking for my stuff! It feels kinda good when people praised tt my clothes are nice or awesome...haha...yeah they dunno how much money does down the drain. Cos i nv worn them before. And now im trying to clear them away.
ANyways, i posted lotsa new items on Ms Divine Shopper*.
And more to come definitely. So do support my shopping webbie! For nice, pretty stuff!

On a different note, i brought vicky to see the vet today. ANd guess wad?! I was so worried cos she's been experiencing lotsa skin problems, remmeber i posted an entry abt her having this bump on her face?...den the vet said she's having a very bad skin allergy and rashes....breakouts.....and itch all over! I felt so sad for her...gosh. Luckily i realised it, no 1 in my hse actually noticed tt she's been scratching herself more often nowadays. And the vet said its prolly due to her diet....poor diet leads to all these skin probs...so those who have dogs be careful! Dont overfeed ur dogs...the vet said vicky's too well-fed..cos i told the vet her diet consist of dry chicken or lamb based food plus dog snacks(my dad bought alot!!)...so she said too much junk food! In the end, the vet told me to change her diet completely, gave me a whole list of food tt she can eat...so i bought a new brand of dry food for her tt's fish-based. On top of that, she can only eat apples or pears as snacks...nth else. And for the whole of this 2 mths, she must follow a strict diet to make sure tt her skin heals completely. Lastly, the vet gave me antibiotics, antibiotic cream to apply on the bump...flaxseed oil capsules to mix with her food...and steroids. Haa i dunno wads tt for...but she said it will stop the itch and redness...but vicky will become more hungry than usual.

Ahh....i just hope my darling can recover soon. Im gonna watch her diet closely from now on and make sure nth goes wrong. =)

story-telling*

2006-08-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

Finally got to meet up with Jill, sharon & jul on fri!
As usual, we sat at cartel tis' time round and talked for hours and hours.
Everytime we meet up, its full of updates and stories to share.
Juicy ones. I mean.(i wont say wad it is here...heh)
But yeah, or else, we will grumble abt our bfs non-stop.
Its just so comfy talking to them about lotsa stuff in my life. Like im totally willing to share abt everything. Cos i know they will understand how i feel and give their atmost true advices. haha. And jul...OMG...you slimmed down like SO MUCH! Jill said she looked like a desperate housewife. haha...like kena mis-treated or sth.

Some pics we took ytd!

But anyways, Jul told me abt festival of fireworks which me & ron managed to catch it ytd night at Benjamin sheares bridge...its damn captivating and amazing to stand on the bridge gazing at the fireworks for 20mins. Definitely worth all the trouble.(cos we cant find millenia walk..and we had to climb up the bridge, exercised a hella lot). But yeah, i just love the fireworks, especially when you watch it with someone you like. Makes it even more memorable.

Up on the bridge waiting for the fireworks to start!

Ron's back in his hometown, jakarta for one week. It does seem like forever once i left him and went home myself from the airport. And as usual, i got lost! I cant believe i can be so blur ...wanted to take bus 89 back home, but ended up in changi village. Why?? Cos i took the wrong side. Bah. In the end i just gave up and took cab. Haha..so much more convenient la. Hmm one week of being apart. Seriously speaking, we have never been apart for so long since last yr when he 'forsake' me to go back indo again for more than 3 weeks! 1 week is still endurable. I can do my flowerpod business...catch up with frens and help my dad. And bring vicky to e vet. Poor vic has patches of skin problems all over her body, dunno wads wrong. I was so worried tt i dreamt she became sickly and old...fat and all wrinkly in my dream. =(

As for my tiny business, im becoming so interested in doing sth online. That of cos can make some money. Still planning in progress. But right now, im clearing quite abit of stuff in flowerpod, thanks to all the buyers. =) But again, i seem to have never-ending things to sell, so i doubt my saleslist will ever be cleared. Dunno why but i just cant stop buying. Only when ron is with me will i be able to buy smartly and not spend so much. He's my financial controller and business partner, but with zero commission. Cos he helps with the pricing and titles. haa.

Recently, we had a HUGE quarrel...which kinda sparked me to think tt i really want a break up. I got really upset over sth which didnt matter to him much but meant alot to me. He felt bad abt it but wasnt aware tt i could get so hurt by his actions. And plus all the things he said tt particular day, i was feeling really down. And at night when we talked over e phone, he had to ask me even more questions abt our existing BIGGEST problem in our r/s(which some of you know), that kinda agitate me to e extreme tt i couldnt stop crying. I got so upset tt i couldnt tolerate anymore...msged him to check his email cos there's alot of things i cant tell him in person at tt time so i rather send him a mail. That night, we went to sleep thinking tt we are only friends from then on.But the nx day, we met and talked abt this. Cos apparently, both of us still feel alot for each other. And somehow, when we see each other and talked it out, everything seem to turn better. The 'misery' i felt tt night was gone suddenly. I dunno why our r/s is so wierd, all the back and forths we had...we just cant let each other go.
Ok, nuff said about him. Im really beginning to miss him.

abuse?

2006-08-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

I dont know if you can call that human abuse.

But i just think its ridiculous not wanting to pay delivery charges for Mac, KFC, Pizza Hut when you wanna eat them.

And BECOS of that, you have to make tt someone go all the way to a place where there is WHAT YOU WANNA EAT to get it. Just to buy it home for you so that you can jolly well STINGE on 2 BUCKS, for goodness sake. I dunno this post will offend who, but i just feel that that's not the way to treat someone, even if he or she is a maid, drug-trafficker, useless bum or whoever. Thats soo damn ridiculous to the extreme. You are willing to spend 20 over bucks on fast food, den why NOT the delivery charges?! Its only right you shud pay for it, at least to me. And come on, tt poor person dont have to rest ah??!! Fancy asking tt person to go all the way just to get some food to fill ur stomach late at night?! When you can just call for delivery service AND PAY FOR IT??!! You find it EXPENSIVE just to pay $2 for food? Gosh. Then you shud save $$$ on your other luxurious spending instead of mis-treating someone like this.

Wa, im super angry after hearing this. That i have to blog it all down, no matter who i will offend man. This is just so unreasonable and ridiculous that i cant imagine someone close to me is doing this to other people.

Arg. Disappointing.

I miss you so~

2006-07-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

They appeared in my mind again.

I told myself to stop thinking and missing them so that i wont feel so bad and sorry.

But...whenever enactments of their deaths crossed my mind, i cant helped but feel my heart twinging. The pain i feel inside. Its not something tt i wanna dwell on, making myself feeling miserable. They are never my dogs; i have never taken care of them and their memories in my life are soo limited, but yet, i feel so much for them.

Just mins ago, i was walking home from the lrt station when the sound of a dog's bark stopped my footsteps. For a moment, it sounded like Coco. It sounded so much like her when she wants us to play with her. Or when i go upstairs to have my dinner at my uncle's, that was the sound she would never fail to make each time she sees me. Thats the only chance she can get so much attention, i guess.

Then i realised she's been gone for 2 weeks. Time passes by so quickly tt most ppl in my family seemed to have forgotten abt them completely. I think soon after, i will never hear anyone mentioning their names again. To some, dogs are just dogs. They are animals, they cant talk, cant express themselves. There's no need to feel so much for dogs. But dogs, like us, have feelings. They can feel sad or happy...and how they feel totally depend how we treat them. They help guard door willingly and wait for us to come back everyday, just to give them some pats on their heads. After wad happened to coco and mimi, i learnt to love vicky even more. I wanna give her all the love i have, cos she gave me hers.

sopping crave

2006-07-27T20:29:00.001-07:00

My tiny business in flowerpod & lesdames seem to be taking it off quite well.

Thanks to my dearie ron who came up with those catchy sales titles(Further Reduced Prices!Clearance sale! etc etc) & well-quoted prices so tt i wont make a loss.

My stuff is worth quite alot, its scary to look at all the things im selling online, they sure add up to a few K at least. Gosh. Yes, im spending money like water for the past few yrs..or shud i say, ever since i was given moolahs.

And i seem to have NEVER-ENDING things to sell which i dont even know where they pop out from. Stuff which i bought recently or mths ago, from brand new clothes, bags, perfumes, cosmetics, face pdts, accessories...etc etc. And OMG, i can say that 80% of them are TOTALLY BRAND NEW, either with price tags still intact or without. But nvm abt tt, the point is that i have NEVER use them before, just chuck em into my cupboard for as long as i know.

And talking abt spending money like water, i wonder if thats a bliss or an unfortunate thing in my life. When one have a little more money to spend on hand, everything seems to be taken for granted. Like as if this will accompany me forever and tt i will never have shortage of money to spend on things i adore. Last time, i used to think tt people who are into window shopping are just wasting their time...used to think tt they might as well dont shop and stay at home cos there's no such thing as window shopping in my life. But recently, after wad happened to my family, i realised the importance of not taking things in my life for granted. I shud really cherish wadever i have now, cos the nx minute, it might just disappear. Im not saying my family is struggling for survival now cos we got no money, we are still pretty much the same, i still get the same amt of allowance every week, so my bros & my life are not really affected, but the only difference is i think MORE now before i give my moolahs away. And dunno why, i actually feel SORRY if i spend my money on buying more clothes. That has never happened.

Like yesterday, i went town with ron and i walked into a shop at far east. Within minutes, i walked out with my card swapped abt $65 for these 2 tops i bought. And right away, my guilt started to act inside. Plus ron nagging at me, it just makes me feel even more sorry. Shopping is just like an addiction in my life tt i shud stop, hopefully. Its so damn hard to curb my shopping crave man. Unless someone take my wallet away or sth. Or whenever i think of my parents working so hard to earn money, den i will stop. I guess i shud always picture tt in my mind when i wanna buy stuff huh.

As for my dad's biz, its slowly improving...esp when now is the peak period. From tt incident, its definitely affected more or less, but i guess all we need is some time to improve things. And hopefully, the insurance can be claimed...damn its at least a few million. Thats my greatest wish now. Make it come true, pls.

::shopping frenzy::

2006-07-20T04:04:00.000-07:00

For those who cant view my saleslist on flowerpod & les dames,
kindly visit ::geo's::
For all cheap & affordable thrills!
Everything you need to look dressed up & pretty!
=p

ALL ITEMS @ 20% DISCOUNT!!

::ONLY TILL 25TH JULY::

That's almost it.

2006-07-18T03:26:00.000-07:00

I guess its abt time.
To give up on something that i always hold on so tightly all these months, and refusing to let go.
I had enough. So now, im letting go.
Rationally, this is what i should do. Even if my heart feels otherwise. One time after another, my heart felt painful again and again. I have no more energy to think abt anything besides how else i can help my family business and my dad. I dont feel sad; cos this is what i expected. To think that I still feel that talking things out would actually help. So naive. Its useless to talk things out when you know things wont change no matter how you feel inside.
Ok, move on.

My dad's business.

Dont worry palss. Its picking up. We wont die and vanish from this line.
Our dumbass competitors immediately raised their prices up to at least 20% after hearing wad happened to us. wth. But its okay. Right now, we still have abt 50% of the 7th mth goods arriving from China these two weeks. As long as we have the stock, our business can still go on. As for the premise, my dad found a new warehouse near the former one which was burnt to put all the goods temporarily. Though its only 10,000 sq ft, but at least, its helpful. The owner rent to us at $1.30 per sq ft after hearing wad happened to us...so my dad gotta pay 13k a month for the rent. These few days, we managed to salvage quite alot of stuff from the office. But of cos, the whole place was either wet from the water or black from the ashes. Out of all the computers, only 3 were able to use..the rest all gone. My dad's office worth of almost 50k furniture was all destroyed too. But all these shud be able to claim from the insurance company. As well as the entire building...it was insured for 2 Million. We still suffer great losses cos our goods was only insured for 750K when its worth more than a million. I really pray that we can claim back wadever is rightfully belong to us.

And right now, im helping out my dad alot. This time round, its not like i dont have a choice or im being forced to. But its willingly. I just wanna do sth to lighten their work loads and stress. Cos everything has to be re-build again. And this time round, our business will be even better than last time.

One interesting fact that i heard from all the adults in my dad's company...and also from relatives abt why this fire broke out. Im not sure if anyone of you believe this, i dont really care also but this is wad the workers and my family believe. Becos its sooo close to 7th mth(less than 2 weeks), the gods and those "things" came to take away everything. Thats why it was ALL BURNT. Its as if we are burning for them. And also, my uncle wanted to venture into toys business..so they kept alot of toys in the warehouse, but it was completely UNBURNT. Still in perfect condition. SO they believe those "things" only took wad they wanted. And now that they took wad they want, they better make sure our business will prosper even more. haha.

Any updates, i will post up again.

dramatic catastrophe

2006-07-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

@ 1am last night, while i was still up grumbling to Ron, i received a 2nd line.
"On fire! Everything's on fire!"
Its my dad's china worker who guards the factory.
For a spilt second, i thought he called the wrong number. I said..."huh huh". Den he shouted, "Yang lao ban, tell him factory on fire!"(in chinese)
I rushed to wake my parents up and my dad hurried to his workplace @ Loyang Way Industrial Park. I called the civil defence and soon after, my mum rushed there in a cab too. At 1st, i thot it was just a small fire that broke out at the back of the warehouse. Couldnt be that bad. I told myself, "how can we ever be so unlucky?" I slept until 6+ am when my dad's alarm clock rang so loudly that it woke me up. I went to switch it off, thinking something is not right. They went out at 1+...but it was alr 6+ in the morning and they were not back yet. The next morning i woke up and found out tt they were still not back. I made so many calls to ask wad happened, only to find out from my cousin tt EVERYTHING IS GONE. THE ENTIRE PLACE WAS BURNT. AND THE 2 DOGS DIED IN THE FIRE. Except for Lucky(golden retriever) which saved EVERYONE'S lives..cos my china relatives were staying on the 2nd floor in the office & workers who were staying in the warehouse. If not for Luckys continous barking to wake everyone, it would have been an even more tragic disaster.

When i reached there with my bro, from far, i can alr see smoke still fuming from the warehouse. And i saw my dad & uncle busily engaging in conversations with the Insurance head person, police, engineers, etc. My dad...poor dad...he looked so tired & sad. And my mum, when she saw me, she started weeping alr...i felt so helpless as their daughter..cos i cant help em at all. At that point, i really hope i can do sth to make em feel better.

The whole building was gone...50,000 over sq ft of property was gone. And the poor little poodle and schnauzer were caught inside the fire...they were choked to death with no one to help em. This is really devastating. Even if they were not my dogs...i saw em grew from small puppies to what they were now...Coco(poodle) 5 yrs old and Mimi(schnauzer) 3 yrs old. My uncle's expensive fishes only left 2...the rest died too. One fish cost at least a few K. Besides these, all the money used to prepare goods for the 7th month...all down the drain. All the money tt my dad spent in renovation, importing goods fr china...and not to forget, the hard work and efforts of each and everyone who work so hard for the company to earn as much money as possible for the 7th mth...all wasted. Even my dad's workers were crying...this sense of belonging to the company is really hard to come by. There was this indonesian worker who dont even wanna accept his 2 weeks wages from my dad, weeping & consoling my dad, "boss, you are a good person. everything will be okay for you."

I learnt alot today. It seems like i have no choice but to grow up overnight. I cant be like wad i used to anymore. This incident really woke me up. Nothing lasts forever and i cant take the luxury we are enjoying now for granted. Of course i believe that my family will definitely be able to pick things and move on from there...all we need is some time. Somehow, God and our ancestors never seem to forsake us...our god figure was completely okay and not burnt at all...our impt documents still intact, cash were still safely kept in drawers...computers & all the paperwork stuff are still usable. But the goods worth a few million and building which cost 1 million all gone. Should i still count ourselves LUCKY? i dunno. Now, i just hope that my parents & uncle's family are okay. Its time i really shud help my dad and not lead the life i always lead.

As for the dogs, i really feel heartbroken. I realised we dont even have a decent picture of Coco at all...such a cute poodle. Not even my cousins. I still remembered how she ran away when vicky bite her butt. If vicky knows shes not here anymore...she would feel sad too. And my maid were soo sad tt the dogs she had been taking care of passed away. She told me, "wei, i just bathed coco ytd noon." Den she started crying. Such an obedient dog which sad to say, fails to be showered with enough love from her owners. Mimi too. They always get jealous if i touch or play with either one of em and not with the other.

Sometimes i feel that my uncle's family ought to blame themselves partially for their death. For not loving their dogs enough and leaving em uncared for in my dad's office. Last week, i just saw them and they were craving so much for my attention. All they ever wanted was someone to love and play with them occassionally. If they were ever loved sufficiently, they wouldnt behave like as if they were being abandoned. If my uncle's family were more caring and responsible, they wouldnt be left in the office. If so, they wouldnt have died today. So many IFs. Thats honestly how i feel. Its time people shud reflect on their actions and how they shud be responsible towards the things they own.

May coco & mimi cross the rainbow bridge peacefully...love you.

go, go, go!

2006-07-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hey gals,

visit my saleslist @ flowerpod or les dames ok?
Everything going @ cheap & affordable prices!
Cos i cant wait to clear out my closet! ('_') Yay!
Whatever you want, from clothes(minis, dress, tops, jeans), belts, bags, cosmetics, face pdts, perfumes! Whatever!

Sneak: Am having 50% off second item(for the least expensive one)! And comes with free gifts too! haha...LIMITED TIME ONLY & WHILE STOCKS LAST!

Heh. This is so fun.
I feel thrilled. hahahaha

Neglected.

2006-07-13T04:48:00.000-07:00

Today, i finally have a chance to spend some time with vicky.
She's neglected by me.
Sighs. My poor little doggie.
My mum told me abt her blotch under her eyes. No idea wad happened to her. Really hope tt i can bring her to see vet tmr.
To think that even when i stay at home, i will be soo busy doing my own things (my korean drama la, tidyin my foreva messy room, managing my flowerpod & lesdames tiny business) tt i have absolutely no time for her, dont even talk abt days when im not at home at all. No more little walks ard my condo, no more pampering baths & massages for her, no more our private time tgr. She just stays at home and sleeps in her cosy purple furry bed. But despite all these negligance from us, she still sits on e little foot carpet near the door and be the cutest, most timid guard dog i've ever come across. And my mum had to gave all her toys to the other 3 dogs in my dad's office. ARG. All those expensive toys i bought. =(

Hmm, better time management. Cos she's the last thing in my life tt i wanna neglect just becos im busy. To some ppl, its just a dog. Or worse still, an ugly chihuahua with high forehead or protruding eyes. Or a tiny dog which is soo fierce to strangers. But to me, she's my precious. When she look at you so pathetically with her teary eyes, you just cant help but feel that you should give her more love. Even when she makes mistakes like peeing on carpets or poo-ing anywhere in da hse. Vicky's not my everything, but i always cant imagine if one day, shes old and sickly and have to go, i dunno how my life will be without her. Everytime me & jillian start talking abt this topic that one fine day, our chihuahuas have to leave us and cross the rainbow bridge, our tears will just follow. Its so heartwrenching to even think abt it.

sprees closed.

2006-07-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

Ha, i figured Lesdames & Flowerpod is a better place for me to get rid of all my unwanted brand new stuff. So no more selling here. ('_') Wish me good luck for business, hope everything goes well. So far so good!

Bidding starts again. For year 2, sem 1. So fast! Im year 2 undergrad alr, but looking my frens' progress, im lacking quite behind in terms of getting a degree asap. Before i officially step into the big lurking working society. Yeps. I dont wanna work...cos i wanna be a tai-tai, wanna go for spas, facials, shopping, high teas...yadah yadah. Dream on, i know tt wont happen even if i wish to. So i'll just have to work towards my goal of becoming a self-independent business woman who deals with fashion. HAAAA.

Oh yah, talkin' abt bidding, this time round, its so different. Cos i only have 1 preassigned module so i have to bid for the rest using my limited amt of e-moolahs($150), how pathetic can we get. $150 to bid for 4 core modules..and some peeps are bidding for 5 even. Crazy man. And its so hard to accomodate everyone's timetable, gosh. Phew thank god its all over man. Yay! Next term i will be same class with my dear eunice(finally dear! we can mug tgr and attend classes tgr!) and ron of coz(How to miss him out? heh which means im gonna have a personal porter, my bf! for lugging my laptop and books ard. Thanks in advance dar') And other peeps like pj, thol,cheryl, xiaomin, nicole. =p

Now, i cant wait for school to start again! 1.5 mths more!!

MNG

2006-06-26T08:20:00.000-07:00

SALE!!!!!

Yup, i went there twice alr, might be thrice soon.
One at tampines isetan and the other at marina square.
And both were amazingly not bad cos i managed to buy sth i like...and best of all, my size!! Other than it was filled with tons of ppl, this time round im so glad they still have XS or S for more than 50% of the apparels. The last few yrs of sale...i always ended up with nothing and feeling so frustrated whenever i see a top or bottom tt i like, but all that were left were those CRAP sizes like XL OR L. =( Yay, so i bought a dress for only 59 bucks, a top for like 13 bucks and a capri pants for 36 bucks! GREAT BUY! So satisfying...heh.

I recommend u guys to go to the marina square's MNG cos apparently, there's still not alot of ppl who know that there's a MNG there...so u might wanna try ur luck there. Pls dont head to wisma's. Its crazy...the queue is long and its packed. u cant even search for nice clothes at all.

clubbing

2006-06-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

sucks big time.
Even phuture, gosh.
Used to prefer phuture to all other clubs, but now, dont even wanna go there anymore.
Am i getting older or wad? Sick of clubbing?
The crowd's CRAP(so many small DI-DIs & 'sluts' wannabes...get a life), music ok-ok, found myself choking with cigarette smoke the entire time, my poor toes kena stepped umpteen times(and i just did my pedicure..wth) and being tiny, i was squashed and squeezed like mad.
AAARRRRGGGGGG.
No more clubbing, ok babes?
Lets go singing! shopping! wadever!

.................................................

Wonder if anyone has ever been caught between parents' quarrels and fights?
And feel so sandwiched, dunno what to do or say? And yet 1 of em kept wanting you to talk to the other person? Yeah, a middleperson, you can call that. Or messenger. Or simply, he or she thinks im problem-free and got nothing better to do.

Since how many donkey yrs ago, im always stuck in this kinda situation. Like i dont have enough problems myself, my parents have to bug me with theirs as well. Oh man. Its soo sickening & irritating. Yeah, im their only daughter and its only right that i shud help rite? But there's a limit to everything!!! My patience especially!! Wa lao, everytime quarrel, i have to be inside the picture, my dad will depend on ME to patch things up with mum, am i GOD or wad? How can i help em??? And my mum is super stubborn, no one can talk her round, just give her sometime to chill and she will be alright wad. Haiyoh.

Once they fight, i will receive endless calls and sms from my dad urging to talk to my mum and at home, both of em will bug me to transfer msgs or ask me the same old qn, "what did ur dad/mum say to you?" AHHHHHHHHHH. So peeps, dont ever think that its GREAT being the only daughter ok? Like i will get all the attention i want from parents...SEE? Now they are giving me SO MUCH attn that i have to solve all their quarrels!

Damn, i need a retreat. To somewhere beachy, with sandy shores, cool breeze, spa therapies, hot tubs..............

Disneyland

2006-06-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

Sneaks into HK Disneyland(For those going to HK soon!):

The only WOW factor was the fireworks before it closes at 8.30pm. I lurve that part the most cos it was on going for 20 mins and it follows a storyline(A WHOLE NEW WORLD) than just putting fireworks blindly.
****fireworks****
my fav mickey & minnie!Look how adorable they are!
Errhurpss...goofy!

my beloved pretty mum...spot the similarities??
Look @ my stern dad. Forever ACT so serious.
Later next week, i'll be helping my dad soon. Yeap, in his company doing some packaging stuff. Peeps, its DOUBLE 7 mth this yr!(means 2 mths in total!) And it only happens once every 30 yrs, which means double income for my dad! My poor hands, bet my nails gonna be all chip and broken. sighs. But at least my increased pocket money & nano is guaranteed. =) Who says i dont work hard to earn things i want? Bullcrap! Grrr.

Digress a lil...
lately i've been feeling tired. Love can get a little weary at times. Where should i start? Its disappointing. Sometimes i just have to let it go. Am i way too sensitive to my own emotions? I dunno. Maybe its me being melancholy recently and thinking too much on my own.

Going into the 7th month together, the person i love so much can actually unintentionally comment that i dont treat him nice...It was like "huh...wad...did i hear wrongly?" or shud i say more like "wtf are u sayin'?" Its infuriating hurtful to my heart, it really was. For a moment, i stone and felt a sharp pain.

Human nature. People only choose to remember all the bad stuff about a person, but nothing about the good side. Not being appreciated, was i felt when i heard that. Or perhaps, when u expect too much from a person close to you, yet she doesnt deliver wad u expected, its doubly worth remembering and bringing it up to her. At all costs, no matter how bad that person will feel deep down.

So then, i am that person. Ever since god knows when, i've been reviewing my character profile; thinking am i really that bad? Am i really so not cute? Am i really not worth of your love & concern? Am i just a little kid who cant grow up?

'Nuff said. Im crumbling. And sometimes, i hope i will just crumble to make things easier.

Back!

2006-06-04T07:53:00.000-07:00

Home sweet home! Nothing beats the feeling of being home once again!
Only away for 5 days, im homesick & lovesick.
BUT luckily, at least, i bought everything that i wanted in HK.
SHIOK. I will definitely miss one thing there- SHOPPING.
Bags, clothes, accessories and lingerie...awwww.
GSS is nothing cmpared to the sale and shopping over in HK man, way off!
To QM: u MUST MUST visit causeway bay, esp SOGO. Damn 1 day cannot finish shopping ahh. And Mongkok area too...haha

Anyways, HK Disneyland is not that fantastic as what everyone say. Its true, but somehow, i enjoy the experience even though i dont think its worth the 100 moolahs per person. Its ripped off! If its US or Japan's disneyland, den yah maybe, but HK?? Its so unexpectedly SMALl. They are making soo much $$$$ that they have the ability to put fireworks for 20 mins every night before they closes!! Imagine that!

Oh, before i forget, wads happening to my TAGBOARD??!! Why issit sooo QUIET?? I need some tags from you guys!!! C'mon!

Thought of the day:
I made up my mind to delete all of em ONCE AND FOR ALL. Finally. Its time they shud head towards the bin. Time to move on and look forward than to reminisce abt the past. Yay.

miss you :)

2006-05-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

Yeap.
Even though its just a span of 5 days... ...

I'm gonna miss you lots.
lots.
lots.
lots.

Cant wait to see ya again...*kisses*

hooked.

2006-05-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

Im so so hooked on flowerpod.
When u are feeling hella bored at home, just surf flowerpod!
Its like making full use of my free time to absorb all da beauty and fashion tips...love flower pod to bits. Lesdames' great as well, but not that much info compared to the prior.

The rants about New York's Skin Solutions are way too scary man. Made me feel kinda regret signing up the package there. Im rather satisfied with their pdts and services, but it seems like no 1 else is happy with their services. Unbearable extraction, lousy pdts, expensive treatments, pushy consultants, insults and kena locked up in the room for few hrs....SCARY!!! Other than em being a little over-pushy, i didnt encounter any bad experiences with em so far. I guess its understandable why these people can get a bit pushy at times cos they eat on commission more than their basic.

Late night shopping...sounds thrilling. I have never tried any of em during GSS. Heard that Marina sq GSS got special discounts during late night shopping! This is really a shopping month for me man. Not only sales in singapore, but in hong kong as well!! Looking forward to my HK trip...a list of places to visit and shop!! And not forgetting disneyland, wanna take a glimpse of my fav cartoon character...mickey mouse! =)

2006-05-23T03:11:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, JILL!!!!
Must hurry tell me wad happened btw u two ok?? Enjoy your 21st babe! Love ya bitch! =)

Ok, i dunno who da hell used ron's name and tag my board, but pls, for goodness sake, dont be so childish. I know my bf will never say these kinda stuff to me, dont even talk about tagging em on my blog. It sounds more like a joke man.

Anyways,
Im going hongkong for a short trip soon! Am gonna leave on 30th may to shop like crazy. My parents, as usual, wants to visit macau cos of its magnificent casino and prolly, me & my bro will idling around the shopping malls and stoning. Galfrens who want me to get any stuff in HK, pls leave a msg at my tagboard ok? Will try my best to get em. And sharon, yes, i will buy souveniors for u guys, dont worry. haha

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently, i feel that im losing more and more of myself, which i dunno why. Sometimes, i lost control over my own emotions and things tt i say. Its not that i wanna get angry or upset over little happenings in my life; just that i cant take all these easy and simply tell myself- forget about it. I cant. And i know somehow, im courting my own doom again. I know it tires you tremendously and u feel like giving up on me. Being like this tires me too, as much as it tires you. If only i like you lesser, things would be easier and you wouldnt feel that everyday, im making you upset. You pampered me by letting me see you everyday; and now that we cant, im grumpy. There's nothing u can do; just let me be alone and i'll be fine. I totally understand why u cant see me, really. But being understanding and how my heart feels are 2 different things. Wadever it is, i will try my best to be okay. I promise you and it wont be broken.

GSS

2006-05-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, the long-awaited GREAT SINGAPORE SALE is here!!!!
All the great buys and discounts!
BUT for me, it doesnt really make a difference.
Cos' i always cant find my sizes and i hate it when they display old and "long before my time" clothes and sell it at 70% disc. Its crap, already out of fashion and they still expect ppl to buy.

Today i went shopping with ron. Quite disappointing cos i didnt get anything at all from all those shops on sale. No sizes, out of trend clothes. yeeks. Places like Guess, was SO MESSY tt i dont bother to look further. In the end, i bought a pair of levis slim fit jeans and phuture london dress, with 0% sale. =( Ron tried his best to stop me from going into shops without discount, but still... ... heh.

Still waiting for DKNY, CK, MNG, A/X, GG5 to start their sale!! This month's gonna be another hole in my pocket cos i kinda predict i will shop like crazy with all the sales going on and me flying to HONG KONG for MOREEE shopping!!!

Like my blog title, shopping is my life.

eatin' on my own words

2006-05-18T08:43:00.001-07:00

I realised something about myself.
I always never fail to contradict my words or actions.
Whatever i tell people ard me, it always turn out to be the opposite in the end.

WHY am i eatin on my own words all da time?

So useless.
I told ron long time ago that i need my own personal space so i cant see him everyday. And as time goes by, this is getting more and more absurd. I am totally stuck to him. I became grumpy and angry with him just becos he cant see me for 1 day or so. JUST 1 freaking DAY. 24 HOURS. And im lovesick. Where got such thing one??!! And its only becos he needs to accompany his mum who hardly get to see her precious son. Cant i be MORE understanding?? I also wish to, but i cant! urg.

So, ron made another surprise trip to my house this morning(totally unexpected cos he thot i hung up his phone last night) and brought me lunch, yakult, crispy cream doughnuts & some root water! Yay, so i am no longer grumpy. Happy again.

oh no,what should i do???

2006-05-16T03:41:00.000-07:00

Hey gals,
I need your suggestions!!
What do u guys think of selling stuff online??

I just packed all e stuff in my room and its over-crowded with clothes, cosmetics, bags, shoes, accessories etc etc!
My room's space really running out man.
Clothes with price tags and brand new, or clothes that i have worn atmost 1 time.
Its such a waste to give em to my maid if i can earn a bit of cash huh.

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SELL, i think i can open a shop already.
My parents nagging at me almost every single day for all the stuff i bought.
heh. Anyone got suggestions abt where to sell my things online? Or anyone also wanna sell your stuff, maybe we could come up with a webbie and sell em online together. heh. I need to get rid of em for new stuff. Haha, GSS is coming soon!
HELP!!

Thanks for the little yet pleasant surprise this morning!
I love the way you show your concern and love for me...muahxx.
It was yummy. heh. Finally, after today i wont bug you to cook fish for me again. BUT... ...
i wanna eat jello, brownie, oreo milkshake, blah blah.
Cook for me. OKay?

i'm torn.

2006-05-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

I know its hard.
For us.
We are in this together.
But... ...

I feel like im being loved this minute; and cast aside another minute.
I honestly dont blame u, but i just ... dont feel good inside.
Thats all.

Maybe, persistence is all i need. I dunno.

choices in life

2006-05-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i went saturday service with ron at trinity.
And the pastor talked about choices, the power of choices.
Everyday is full of different types of choices that i have to make.
And every choice tt i make holds no regret.
At least i hope.

I think every individual has the power and ability to make a choice.
And somehow, i feel that choice is linked with fate.
Cos whatever choice you make, its fated and decided by the one up above, which in turn, is our destiny.

We kinda went through quite a bit recently. And for what happened, there's absolutely no one to blame. Honestly. Cos there's no right or wrong in a relationship; it only depends on how u wanna look at it, from whose point of view.

And after all these, he asked me a question which kinda stunned me. Not becos of anything, but becos even me, myself dunno the answer at all. Hence, i didnt know how to reply for a long, long time. As i thought to myself, suddenly this word 'choices' came to my mind. I dunno why. But it kinda enlighten me and answered the question. Why do i still wanna be with you? Cos i made the choice to. Cos i made the choice to like you more than anything else. Cos i made the choice to follow my heart. Cos i chose to hold onto you no matter what. Cos i chose not to let go of you easily. All these choices that i made is to hold no regrets at all. And most importantly, so that i wont be unhappy without you beside me.
Its definitely not becos of what you think or guess, i swear. I never wanna pawn you for anyone better.

Now, i answered your question, baby.

crazy galsss*

2006-05-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

Finally, i got my vera wang's limited edition 100ml perfume BACK!! And its totally new, no leakage! Yay! Luckily, i managed to get back, if not i will complain until tt woman lose her job @ tangs man. The lady man @ the counter told me its becos of leakage, the color of the perfume changes. So it should look like this, even more GLAM:

Thanks guys! I really love this present! =)
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.
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Its my belated 21st celebration with my poly frens ytd! Finally, we met up after soo long...Jill & **** already 1 mth+ unofficial, Jul & her bf already 3 mths...That is how long we never seen each other! So much to catch up! We went fish & co for dinner and later on, i treat em desserts @ Coffee Club! I really love the company of my poly frens, they are one of my closest pals and everytime i bombard em with a problem, they never fail to give me genuine advices and tell me exactly what i should do. Thanks babes, you guys made me see things clearer, as always. =)

- while waiting for our dearest juliet to come(she's always the last 1 to come), we snap pics like nobody's business in Fish & co despite the waitress getting kinda irritated with us. Cos everytime she ask us to order, we kept saying not ready for like more than 3 times? heh.

We got kinda bored...look @ Jill & sharon's expressionless expressions.

Then, Jill & sharon ordered their favourite...woolala dish! ??? Its none other than OYSTERS! I told em, "it will boost up ur sex drive man". And they got even MORE excited to gulp em all down. hahaha..horny babes never change.

In da toilet, we never stop taking pics too. I like this pic cos my head looks really small...haha compared to sharon & jill.

Head to coffee club straight after dinner, damn we were all very FULL already. But once i told em im treating desserts, sharon said," wa u treating ah? Later must order the most empensive one already!" sickening ass.

While Juliet & jill are busy contacting their other halves on hp, me & sharon were BORED. So we took pics with different expression. Act dao, act cute and lastly, how we kiss. Look @ how she french kiss....err...urps. Lotsa room for improvement! oops.

Here comes the most expensive dessert in coffee club. Haha, yeah, they really ordered the most expensive one! haha

& us eating it all.

ANd lastly, a group shot before gg home!

Time's so short, after 4 HOURS of intense chatting & catching up, we had to leave cos Jill needs to meet someone to go home together. waaa...so sweet.

Oh, before i end, i wanna say thanks to the gift u guys got me! I really adore it man! Esp. when im told its the one and only piece sold in tangs and spore cos its from europe. So i kinda guess its super expensive. But the speciality of this night gown, is not just a nightie, cos once u wash it, u just rub those little red roses on the gown and they will give off natural ROSE SCENT while u sleep. WOAHHHH. I LOVE IT MAN. My gals know i love rose smell the most! heh. (and sharon, thanks for dressing up for me! And show me ur lil visible cleavage..haha)

running thoughts

2006-05-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

The more i read about it, the more confuse i get.
Why does it seem like there are ALWAYS 2 sides to things, no matter what?
So, then, exactly, which is RIGHT?
When can i ever make my mind?

Maybe, i never will.

my lurve.

2006-05-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

On 6th may, i had a lil' sweet celebration with my dearest.
I guess everyone knows who.
None other than...

R
O
N

AND i was so elated simply cos' i have NEVER spend my birthday with any guy BEFORE. So he was the first, and i hope, the last too. All that i wished for that day- present, cake, nice meal & most importantly, him. Without him, everything wouldnt seem so beautiful and sweet. So thanks, dar.

I waited near Guess boutique for quite a while until i went in to shop and when i came out, he's still not here yet. haha, due to accompanying me for the past few days, he doesnt have any time at all to get my present and prepare for the actual day. heh. Still, he got me what i wanted(one of those items on my wish list), a denim jacket from MNG and we celebrated with a chocolate fudge cake from swiss bake. Thanks from the bottom of my heart...=)

I sincerely pray that all my 21st birthday wishes will come true, maybe not now, but in near future.

21st b'dae!

2006-05-08T01:09:00.000-07:00

Heh. Some of you might wonder why i delete ytd's entry and post this wallpaper instead. Cos way too many pics to post over the past few days' celebrations, so to make things easier, i cramp all the pics into a wallpaper!! Everyone's who celebrated with me are inside, so dont worry!

If you guys want detailed pics abt UG's celebration, pls feel free to visit min's blog for better 'coverage'. Plus interesting captions & storylines. haha =)

Anyway, thanks for all the precious gifts i've received from friends, family & bf. Truly appreciate all the planning and birthday wishes from everywhere. Thanks!!

As a "token of appreciation", here's a wallpaper i've done while poor Ron is lying on my bed, almost dying from flu. haha, time to give TLC to him. Oh, and if anyone is interested to know abt our lil' sweet celebration together, i will post the pics soon and fill u guys with details!
=)

Stupid auntie

2006-05-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

Before i go on to blog abt my birthday celebrations over the past few days,
i wanna complain abt this stupid salesgirl @ Vera Wang's perfume counter in CK Tang. She obviously suck BIG TIME. UG got me this limited edition 100ml perfume fr this brand which cost them 175 moolahs. And it leaked. So fang gave me the receipt to xchange @ ck tang. Nothing wrong rite? But tt bi*ch working for vera wang spoilt ron and my mood TOTALLY. She just deserve a tongue lashing from ron, luckily he was there with me. Stupid woman not only dont wanna change the perfume for me, but she went on to say tt its an IMITATION!! wtf. She said vera wang's perfume is not supposed to be this color, SO??? fuck. I also know, tts why im changing it!! And worst of all, her attitude and service sucks like never before, and she kept insisting on A STUPID PRICE TAG THATS NON-EXISTENCE. irritating. Arg. "There shud be a price tag on the plastic cover, like all perfume, but this one dont have." fuck. dunno how many freaking times she repeated and how many times i must explain to her, slow pig. Its a BIRTHDAY GIFT, of cos e price tag is not there la! stupid shiet. And last of all, she's really dumb. Thats all i have to say. I have the freaking CK TANG receipt, CK TANG paper bag, the free gift bag, vera wang's box and she can still say its imitation?! How dumb is tt??!! When i almost wanna blow my top, Ron blew his 1st. He helped me to shut that stupid auntie up. If not, i think i will sure complain abt her man. In the end, she changed her attitude, suddenly became so nice and said she will help us check with the office, no stock now, must order and contact me again. wtf. Shud have said that in the 1st place.
I wonder why Vera wang wanna employ such an old attitude auntie to represent this high class brand. Yucks. Totally screwed.

2006-05-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

To UG:
confirm already ah? Friday(tommorrow!) meet at town ard 4.30pm, from there either we take bus or take 7-seater from meng to HV ok?
I book settlers' @ 5pm, den after tt we go drinking!!

De Beaute Aromatic Spa
Everything was good and comfy until after i got home. She massage my head and caused to feel giddy! Arg. I shouldnt have let her massage my head. Or maybe its the milkbath tts too hot for me? I dunno...but me & ron like the spa and service there. The place's nicely designed with balinese style and its quite relaxing.I lie there like a pig for her to massage, but for ron, every now and then, i will hear bursts of laughter and giggles cos he feel ticklish when the masseue massage his stomach & chest area, or pulling his toes. haha..so funny.Nice place for couples to relax and more relax, highly recommended. But the price's a bit steep as well, 2 person for 200 bucks. Its a complete spa package cos it comes with a scrub, hydrobath and massage. Go try! =)

TO UG: my wish list

2006-05-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

I was forced by my dearie UG to do a wish list.
They have no idea what to get for my 21st birthday.
And quoting qimin, "no wishlist, no present".
wth.
haha.
My frens.
At this age, i guess everyone's running out of ideas abt what presents to get for ppl on their brithdays.
Being frens for almost 8 yrs, my frens are REALLY running out of ideas.heh.

Ok, i have no wishlist.

BUT

There are a couple of things that i wanna buy. which i haven buy.
haha...here they are:
-a nice hat(the white with gold lining one @ ninewest, but might be a bit big, haha)
-more lingerie(only triumph)
-denim jacket(slim fit)
-stila limited edition makeup
-hood jacket, not sporty type
-vera wang's perfume

haha...guys, please consider carefully. HAHA.

shopping spreesss*

2006-05-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

Never ending sprees.
Wherever i go, i shop like crazy.
Cant stop. why? Am i addicted to shopping????!!!
i think i am really becoming a shopaholic.

Went to town with shihui on mon to shop...my dear galfren made a WHOLE LIST of shops ard town that she wants to visit!!! Ultimate shopper, no wonder we are best of frens. She practically rummage the whole of orchard and wrote down one by one shops & their location and we started off with far east, went searching high and low for some shops that are never found. hahaha...i wonder why after 01-61, 01-62, 01-63...it became 01-65??? WHERE is 01-64?? haha, wierd huh.

Dar, so sorry i broke my promise of spending a limit of below SGD 10 bucks...haha, its like a mission impossible to me. Unless someone keep my wallet away from me. 10 bucks not even enough to buy a pair of earrings lo. heh.

And not to forget our fav. place for snapping pics...nowhere else but...
cool toilets.
Apparently, scotts' toilets arent that nice after all.

Yesterday, i went out eunice for a free trial facial @ New York's skin solutions! Its good, at least i think its not too far off compared to Jean Yip. Pls, dont ever go FIL. Its like a slipshod facial treatment, no quality @ all. My poor lil' face was red for a few days the last time i went there. Vow never to go back there again man even though its been paid...anyone interested to try? Its too rough for my sensitive skin. For NY's skin solutions, she used collagen and penetrate em into my skin! Feels soo smooth and radient after that even without makeup. And best of all, the pdts use natural ingredients like ginseng, honey, etc and its all custom made for ur skin, depending on your skin type! Ok, i sound like im advertising for em, but i was really quite impressed with em. My beautician, Beatrice, analysed my skin under a dunno what, but all my pores, freckles, facial hairs and wherever its clogged can be seen SO DAMN CLEAR!! She said my skin's condition is good, but cos its so thin(if u guys notice, capillaries and veins can always be seen ard my cheeks), i have to take extra care of it and make sure its hydrated enough. And one last comment she made tt i think was damn true: I cant go for cheap facials. seriously.
Im not being critical here abt people patronising cheap facials, but there's really a difference btw the pdts & masks tt they use which is damn important in a facial, cos thats wad facials are all about rite? And also, the service. I wanna feel extra relaxed and comfy when im doing facial, some places(like F*L) just dont have that. And those cheap facials(i did a thorough analysis when i was doing my project, 'ethical issues in spas', revealed that they made the facial package seem soo damn cheap tt people are so tempted to sign, its actually just an upfront payment, cos after you sign, they will keep pushing other packages to you and make u pay even more and more. Yah, tts wad i found out about some spa or facial companies, even those established ones practise this. And my paper-thin skin cant endure harsh treatments and rough handling from facials. I will look like a burnt lobster.
Anyways, back to NY's, i recommend all to go for a free trial. (min: interested hor? just call and make appt babe!) and let em analyse ur skin and try their facial...u never know the results.
I will post pics of me & eunice another day, haha, cos this entry is getting a bit too LONG. Anyway dear, thanks for your present!! I really love it, so like me! And what i have looking for! thanks!! =)

dreams.

2006-05-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

It seemed so real.
That i have to blog it down cos, im afraid.
So so so afraid.
They always say, "if you let people know what ur dreams are, they wont come true."
I cross my fingers and hope that it will never come true.
Ever since what happened, i have been having similar dreams.
Dreams that woke me up each time i have it.
Way too scary. I fear em like how i fear insects.

Dreams VS reality.
Somehow, after checking dream dictionary, it kinda reflects what happened in my life sometime ago. All the happenings in my dream seem to connect to one another.

Beg:
To dream of begging someone, means you are anxious about something or someone that you want in real life- and you are worried that you wont get what you want.

Breaking up:
To dream that you are breaking up with someone is a signal that there are feelings or situations in your life that you want to get rid of. Or, it could mean that you are refusing to accept a situation that's being pushed upon you. If you dream of someone else breaking up with you, you may have low self-esteem or feel alienated from others. This could also be a straighforward fear of rejection.

Crying:
If you dream you are crying, your mind is helping to achieve emotional balance while you sleep. You are getting out frustrations that would slow you down in your waking life.

Everytime i dreamt of these, i am sooo damn relieved when i finally woke up. Cos, after all, it was just a dream. But it send shivers down my whole body when i think of it occuring in reality. Really. I dread of all these again. I dont know why i kept having all these similar dreams that once happened before. Everytime i think back, i feel like crumbling and my lil' heart will ache.

Pls, pls, pls.

Now that i have you back again, i dont wanna lose you once more.
Cos im barely hanging on.

There it begins

2006-05-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah, my 21st birthday celebrationsss.
There it goes.
Tmr i'll be celebrating with dear in town.
Facial + shopping. haha, one in a million kinda celebration.
3rd may: spa indulgence with ron & movie(MI3)
4th may: TK 4c...ktv & dinner
5th may: UG...settlers & drinks
6th may: dedicated to him only. =)
Poly FRENS.....to be confirmed.
shihui...not yet to be confirmed.

21st ALREADY. gosh, i have lived more than 2 decades since 1985. So old.
Yet still so many dreams to be fulfilled. So much to achieve.
Hmm...21st is a significant year to me. From now onwards, i have to make some revolutions to my present life and evolve changes. Not so much of that spoilt brat, geo. I have to live like how a woman gotta live. yeah.

Birthday wishes?

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.
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Nothing much, not a single wish lists of MATERIAL STUFF like clothes, jewellery, $$$ or wadever. I have enough & contented. All i want now is peace, happiness and security. And live each day without fear at all. Most importantly, be loved by all the people who matters to me. Thats all i wish for.

Happy 21st birthday to me...5 more days.

2006-04-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

Oh no...

My stats grade is out!!! Im freaking out, dont dare to check cos i have a feeling i screwed up this paper. And its gonna pull my GPA down man. This semaster seems no different from last semaster, FA was disappointing. Only a B+ when im expecting at least a A-. And stupid comms, just a B. wth. My STATS.......shucks.

Hope for the best.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Never mind, its okay. Never mind, its okay."

I kept on telling myself. Self assurance works best. It cures insecurity temporarily, at least for now. To me: Let it pass.

Have you really loved a woman?

2006-04-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

I wonder if any man out there has ever really, truly loved a woman before.
Putting everything else aside, and just love someone wholeheartedly.
Make her the happiest woman in the world.
I yearn to be one of these women since i was little. Before i even know what is love all about. Becos at the end of the day, women only pursue one thing called LOVE, nothing else. No money, no nothing. We just want to feel blissful and loved by the man we love. Its as simple as that.

Have you really loved a woman?

To really love a woman, to understand her, you gotta know her deep inside.
Hear every thought, see every dream and give her wings when she wants to fly.
And when u find urself lying helpless in her arms, you know you really love the woman.
You love a woman? Tell her she's really wanted
You love a woman? Tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody to tell her that its gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really really, really loved a woman?
To really love a woman, let her hold you till you know how she needs to be touched
You gotta breathe her, really taste her till you can feel her in your blood
when you can see her unborn children in her eyes, you know you really loved the woman.
She needs somebody to tell her that you'll always be together.
So tell me have you ever really really, really loved a woman?

You gotta give her some faith, hold her tight, feel her tenderness, you gotta treat her right, she'll be there for you, taking care of you, you gotta love a woman.
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@ Eugene's new hommie

2006-04-26T03:20:00.000-07:00

Gathering @ Eug's new house in Bukit Batok ytd.
In the end, it became a 'Bedok Central food gathering', cos all the food we bought are from there. The famous chwee kueh, hokkien mee, oyster egg, otah, carrot cake, etc. And not to forget beehoon and curry. Oh and a big watermelon. So sinful. I ate so much ytd.
US:

Evidence of me being 'bullied'....look at how they stuff marsh mallows into my tiny little mouth & stupid eugene pushed my head while im trying to pose! arg.

impressed*

2006-04-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

This is the 1st time im ever impressed with an 'off-counter' beauty product.
Like truly impressed.
I wanna switch my damn farking expensive blemish cream cum moisturiser to DIOR'S HYDRACTION GEL!!!!! Its damn good! I recommend to anyone who has dry or combination skin, or skin prone to blemishes and dehydration. This product work miracles man! I love it. Not only it makes my skin more radient and smoother texture, but it helps to control my seasonal blemish breakout too!
And comparing the price of Jean Yip's blemish cream which rips me off everytime($128 per bottle...damn...and it can only last me for atmost 3 mths) to this dior's star product which is only surprisingly 85 bucks! And i heard from eunice i can get em online for only 55 bucks! And it can last me much longer!
I dont wanna kena hammer all the time. I always kena hammer, even at the cheapest stuff i bought. And people pls dont get hydramax from c****l cos it sucks. Cause breakout. Waste my moolahs man. Bought it at like 92 bucks. shiet. And one whole bottle not even used yet. =(

I love DIOR so much. heh. My current hot-listed brand. Glam cosmetics and quality facial products and sweet fragrance!
=)

Mummy says... ...

2006-04-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

"Wei ah, i 1st time see you like this over a guy. Last time always dump ppl, now its your turn. This time round you really like him alot hor? Never seen you so upset before."(in chinese)
My little mummy told me these words while i was happily watching my tv.
I was taken aback by what she said. I replied, ''mummy, i 21 yrs old already, cannot play play anymore. Im serious this time round." She saw how sad i was over the past few days, and how i almost ruin the relationship with my own hands. Im too wilful, spoilt and always think that whatever i said and do is right. And everything ONLY revolves around me, which, apparently is not. I behave like a kid despite my age and i have wierd habits that irritate people around me or close to me. For eg, i will drink different drinks in different cups and leave them all around the house, in ron's house, i do the exact same thing. Same goes for food. And even pouring a glass of water, i need ron to do it for me. And my room is always forever messy even one day after my maid cleans it up. Thats how 'spoilt' i am. My dad had enough of me over the years man. I need to make some revolutions or changes to my life.

I dont wanna suffer any more pain of losing him again.I wanna cherish him all over again. Im really bent on it. I catalyzed our breakup and i dont wanna do it again. It almost drove me nuts. Im really glad that there is still a chance for us to work things through and solve our problems eventually. May it be religion or whatever, we will face em together.
I love you.

Dior makeover shoot!

2006-04-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

My 21st makeover.
Me & eunice went to Dior makeover at Raffles city's atrium.
Love DIOR. Especially dior's show mascara & latest eye shadow compact & pink eyeliner...I love my makeup by Cindy too, she's great......heh.
Smoky eyes effect, make my eyes look so cat-tish. And hair styling specially by stylist from Le Salon. Looks kinda like peacock or chicken head, but its nice! Eunice's hair was cool, look like some rebellious girl in NYC. The only little letdown was i couldnt get back all my photos...can only choose the nicest out of many cos its supposed to be for a contest. And winner will walk away with $1000 worth DIOR PRODUCTS & A DIOR WATCH!!! I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking at my 17 yrs old makeover @ Coverlooks and 21st, there's really a difference. Cos i was way too chubby then compared to now. The girlish look to a more mature look now.
Spot the differences:

Biggest difference: i smiled with TEETH!!!! haha
Snaps @ Dior atrium:

Ok nuff abt my photo makeover. Time to plan some gatherings for my 21st bdae!
UG & guys: 5th may ok?(dinner , catching up & taking pics)
TK 4C: 4th may ok?(KTV & dinner)
Poly: 3rd may(cos its ladies nite babesss)
Shihui: You choose...heh. after ur exams babe!
SMU: Planning in progress =)
Pls tell me whether its a good idea to celebrate on those days or u guys have other ideas of celebration in mind! =)

As for him, we are working things through. Dont worry abt me people, i will make myself happy. And as long as he's with me, im happy. smiles* Wish us all da best ok?

long-awaited hols!!

2006-04-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

I know those ppl who are having exams will prollyl wanna scold me now....
BUT
MY EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!
Yay!!~~~~~
And my long awaited 4.5 MONTHS of summer break is here! Just look at the color of my font...so summerish'. heh.
What the hell am i going to do in 4 mths? Shiet. Rot at home and out with frens, K my dvds & vcds, snooze like a pig, stay out late, online freak, etc.
And work part time?
hmmmmmm.

I still wanna say today 's FA paper SUCKSSSSSS. Its quite tough, stupid 4 profs who set the paper together. Arg. And my business comms final grade is only a B. WTH. =(

Anyways, i shopped to almost my heart's content today. Almost only. I still wanna get a pair of skinny jeans(damn its hard to find a nice jeans tt FIT ME.), hat, belt and baggg. Am going to hunt for all these on wed. =) Putting these aside, i bought like another pair of shoes this month from gripz. 70% of all my shoes are from there man. Im like a 'walking model' for em. Oh, and i conquered 1 green skirt and 1 top from fcuk too. And a cute little cosmetic pouch from far east.

Recairnation is FREAKY. Scary. Bloody too. But somehow, i wished i never came out from the threatre. I was totally immersed into the movie. And after it ended, everything was back to its original place again.

2006-04-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Just let me be gone for a while.
I need time to let go everything.
I'll be okay after a while.
I need to stone and think things through.
My heart needs to be healed.
Whatever reasons you gave it to me, i accept em.

Someone fix my heart.
I dont wanna feel painful and sad anymore.

Peeps: I will be back to me after a while ok? Dont worry. =) =) =)
...No more blogging temporarily...

Be optimistic?

2006-04-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

No matter how pessimistic i am as a Taurus, I once thought to myself that you were the one meant for me. I really did. I never fancy this kinda thought before to anyone who came to my life because i dont dare to and i think they were not suitable. But you....i once thought that you are the right person. Despite being together for a short time, i felt like we could really connect. But until today do i realised only i feel it this way. Only i was too blinded by love and everything about you. And having love alone might not be enough for some people. To me, all that matters is love between two person. Nothing else really matters.

... ... ... ...

2006-04-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all(Eunice, qimin, meng, dennis, shihui, zhiying, jiatang, fiona, jillian, sharon). I really appreciate it, without your care and concern, it might be even harder for me to get over this. Dont worry pals, i will concentrate on my exams now and once its over, i will do whatever i can to make myself feel better. =) Gonna have a crazy retail therapy on monday straight after exams. I wanna shop till i drop dead.

And to you, thanks for still being there for me. Though its not the same anymore, i am glad i still have you as my friend. Now, like what u have told me, i wont hope for anything more already. I'll just take a step at a time. But do know that i still want you back as much as last time. And i know it isnt easy for you too. So do be strong as well. Since we cant spend as much time as we did last time, go and find your frens for company. Go out and have fun.

I will get used to this major change in my life. I will and i believe i can.

Everything happens for a reason.

2006-04-13T18:58:00.000-07:00

I wish to believe everything that happened to me over the past few days, its for a reason. A good valid reason.
But somehow, i just dont see it. I dont understand why.
Every night before i sleep, i wish upon that the nx day i wake up, things would be fine. Like how it always were after we bicker or quarrel. But it never happen. I know this is not another argument we have.

And yesterday, i've got to know the real truth. Religion is the least problem. The real problem between us is that, you cant make me happy. wrong, wrong, wrong. If its really like tt, i would not chose to be with you in the first place. And i know it the best myself, that you are able to make me smile. I always feel extra blissful to have you around. We are incompatible? What is compatibility? All i know is as long as love each other, we are compatible. Why wanna make things seem more complicated than it really is? I am just a simple girl looking for happiness and i truly see that you can give it to me. I dont ask for anything more, i dont need you to shower me with material gifts, i dont need you to give in to me all the time, i can get used to that. I dont need all these; i just want you back.

What should i do after exams? What should i do during my free time? I am so used to seeing you every single day, what do you want me to do now? I cant seem to find solitude except with you. We have so many things to do together, so many things to fufill, and now i can only treat it like it never happen. Who is going to accompany me to school now, who is going to talk to me over the phone every single night, who is going to imitate all those advertisements and make me laugh, who is going to carry my stuff when its heavy, who is going to print notes for me when my printer runs out of ink, who is going to eat dinner with me every evening, who is going to embody my tantrums, who is going to hold my hands and hug me when im sad, who is going to study with me during exams, who is gonna love me?
I need you.

im suffering, my heart is weeping.

2006-04-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

Im devastated. Cos you hurt me like crazy. No one has ever done that to me.
Issit a retribution? After what i have done to my exs all these years?
Now i finally understand how they feel. Im utterly sorry.

I always love you for who you are. This is so unfair. Because i am not a christian, you had to do this to me. I saw it coming, but i was always hoping for the best that this would happen later, or we could try our best to overcome it. I did so much to be with you and now, all these must happen. Why wasnt i told of these in the beginning? "It is a sin to be with a gal who is a non-christian. I cannot commit to someone who is not a christian. We dont have any future cos you are not a christian. "

Yeah, issit my fault that i am not the same religion? Or issit my fault that i love you too much? This is cruel. You make me feel like i am better off dying or disappearing to somewhere.

p.s: sorry that i have to blog this down, cos i dunno how else to channel my thoughts. I need a letout.

Sorry.

2006-04-12T05:26:00.000-07:00

I never knew how hard it is to love someone until i met him.
I get agitated or upset by the slightest things he say or do to me. And often, i wonder why i react in this way. Its all because i love him too much.

I never knew how many blemishes i have in my character until i met him. All the things that he said about me, no one has ever told me before. Then, it dawned on me, i am not so nice after all. And, i am not a good gf who knows how to take care of my man and make him happy. After knowing what kinda person i am, i feel like such a failure. Insensitive, selfish, childish pride, bad attitude, rude, spoilt, spendthrift...=( All the things he said about me, i thank him for letting me know so that i can try to change.

But today i am truly, utterly hurt. Its the day i felt the worse after i met him. Less than 2 hrs, the exact same thing has to happen again. Why am i being treated like this? In the end, i just figured out one thing. If he really love me, he wouldnt have hurt me so much. Dont be so nice to me at this minute, and ignore me the next minute. And then call me again to go home together. Dont treat me like this. It hurts like crazy.

I really dont know what you want anymore. And sorry, i cant pretend to be normal and carry on as usual. Because if i do it, the next time it happens again, its gonna be the same. And that was not what i want. I never wanted things to be lidat. You know it.

My poor parents gotta see me cry. So sorry, i didnt wish to do that. The stupid message came at the wrong time when im just right at my doorstep, so my tears just followed. So sorry i had to lie too, its not because of stress or school.

The ONLY pleasant thing that happened to me today was:
Coming out of the bathroom and seeing a box on my table. Its Poh Heng. My dearest mummy bought a diamond key necklace for me as my 21st bdae present. This is the FIRST time she ever gave me a gift for my birthday and somemore, so early. Really appreciate it. Its the only thing that brightens up my mood.
And thanks to eunice too for being there.

I wish i can feel better.* I need to. My heart is crying.

zhiying & boon

2006-04-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

Happy 21st Birthday to my 2 pals,
ZHIYING & BOON TECK!

I haven seen TK 4C peeps for soo long, besides zhiying whom i meet up quite often for shopping & coffee session. We celebrated zhiying & boon's 21st @ Settlers' Cafe @ Clarke Quay. Finally, i got to understand what is this cafe all about. Ok, food sucks, but game is fun. Especially when its with my classmates, the bunch of ppl im close to during those sec. sch days. Ahh..miss those times in class man.
We played 'monkey speed' and the other one dunno what...but out of these 2 games, i must comment that zhiying & dennis are really ULTIMATE BLUR TO THE EXTREME. hahaha...zhiying i can understand, she has been leading a blurrified life since sec school and maybe cos she mug too much today, BUT DENNIS??? hahaha...dude, u really crack me up, just like good old times. Hey guys, today kinda met up too late already, not much time to catch up. Lets gather again after our examssss....=)

TK 4C(incomplete)

My super chatty partner in tk...heh

I am so so not ready...the person who took our picture didnt say 1,2,3 at all and there she went.

Today i suddenly felt like im living in your shadows. I saw identical resemblance of you and im stunned. Why do i have to be reminded of you again? Why can 2 person look so alike? clueless me.

insecurity

2006-04-05T05:28:00.000-07:00

its funny how women, like me, and i believe, many others out there, can feel soo insecure about our men, no matter how much assurance they give us. I guess its has nothing to do with the assurance, trust or whatsoever. The root of the problem is, we are too afraid of losing the person we love. So its virtually impossible to rid all the insecurity in our hearts.

After talking to meiqi online today, i realise im not the only one with this problem. The difference btw the two of us is that, she can only get to see sean weekly(visit mq's blog).

But for me, i see Ron every single day, and spend time together everyday. Some couples might find us fortunate to have the chance to be together everyday, but, there is always pros and cons. Yeah, i dont have to miss my bf anymore, i can simply cross the bridge that links sengkang & pungol together within 10 mins and arrive at his doorstep, and there he is. Or we can meet at sengkang mrt to go to school together or else he can wait for me in school and go home together. In school, we can talk online and meet somewhere to have lunch, etc. Thats how we are seeing each other everyday. Its a routine that i look forward to everyday. BUT...this has kinda led to more conflicts btw us. As people always say, the more u see each other, the more conflicts you would have. Its true. All the little bickerings every now and then, and throwing tantrums(mostly me), im beginning to wonder maybe its a bad idea to see him everyday. I feel very tired whenever we bicker even though we know in the end, we will definitely be okay. So, then, why bicker in the 1st place? And quoting from mq's blog, " To him, he's just in a foul mood, but to me, i feel so useless not being able to lift up his spirits." Thats exactly how i feel when Ron ignore me or when he's grumpy. I feel useless and clueless. Like what have i done again or why cant i make him happy. And he doesnt know how much he mean to me until now. Maybe i am never expressive with my feelings to begin with. The thoughts in my mind always turn out to be totally opposite when it comes out of my mouth. I honestly dunno why i cant say what i want to. Issit pride, ego or what?
Ok, back to mugging stats.
Its taking a toll on me.

* A Love to kill * By Rain is damn phucking nice...anyone wanna borrow? Im so so addicted to it.

hits and misses

2006-04-01T07:13:00.000-08:00

Stats is literally killing me.
wad hypothesis, finite correction factor, test statistic shiet.
Urg.
I hope after this semaster, i will have nothing to do with stats, ever again. This module is just nuts. Okay, it partly my fault cos i skipped like 50% of classes. But, still, this module is stale and torturing.
I have 25 qns DUE ON 4TH APR, 7pm!!!!!
AHHHHH~~~~~~
I desparately need help. S.O.S

I have made up my mind to MOVE ON. I wont care a shiet if he still feel bitter or wadever towards me. I am just gonna enjoy my life and move on. Its tiring to keep wondering if he's alright, has he move on or is he still angry with wad i did to him. Like wad he said to me, he has his own life and i have my own. So lets call it quits. It doesnt really matter to me anymore, even if he doesnt want us to remain as friends. As much as i want us to carry on and be frens like last time, i cant do anything if he is unwilling.

And Ron...he's my all. These 4 mths of leading an 'unusual and lavish couple life'-seeing each other EVERY SINGLE DAY, spending soo much moments together and going through rough times, i really feel that i cannot do without him. Never once did i say 'i like you' or 'i love you' to him, but my heart truly feels this way. He's the only one who can endure all my grumpy-ness & moody shiet and yet still endear me so much, always giving in to my nonsense. Honestly, i feel so grateful for wadever he have done for me. It doesnt really matter if you find it embarrassing to say sweet notings to me(though i may get a little grumpy) becos i know how you feel. =)

Just like today, haha, he's so cute. I noticed this chi ko pek kept staring at me while im eating at mosburger with Ron. So i complained to him, 'eh dunno why tt fat guy keep staring at me, also dunno for wad.' Then Ron started noticing him with the corner of his right eye, to see whether he really did stare at me. Suddenly, he just blurted out quite loud, 'wa lao so pathetic eat there alone, so lonely, no 1 eat with you...' I stopped him. If not he would have gone further to insult him. heex..I know you dont like ppl looking at me dear. hahaha......hahaha